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Choosing whether to keep your family's name, a name that has identified you during your childhood and in your single days or take the name of your new husband as you begin a new family is an important decision. This decision often weighs more heavily on older brides and brides who have already begun to establish themselves in careers. I chose to switch to my husband's family name. I have friends who kept their last name as well as other friends who switched their last names. Each decision must be a personal choice, taking into consideration the opinions and beliefs of the husband and wife. Regardless of the outcome, the manner in which the choice is made can set the tone for how future decisions in the marriage are made.

My sister was the first woman I ever knew to keep her last name when she got married. She was considered an older bride at the time, at 28 years old, and had been working professionally since college. I believe her plan, initially, was to hyphenate her last name with her husband's name. Eventually, though, his name was dropped completely. As a ground breaker in my family, her decision caused great confusion amongst our parents and grandparents. I remember the discussions of "How do you address a letter?" and "What will be the baby's last name?" Well, I always addressed letters to "Mr. & Mrs. Husband's Name" or simply "The Husband's Name Family" and my niece carries my brother-in-law's name. Whatever my sister chooses to be referred to as an individual and professional, the family unit carries her husband's name. My sister and her husband have always chosen to lead separate lives, however. Her name is really a good reflection of how their family unit has evolved.

My sister's experience influenced my decision to take my husband's name. Making the decision regarding what my name would be after marriage was not easy. I was just beginning a professional career and had made many friends and contacts during college and graduate school. I was afraid of losing what name recognition I had as I started out. My husband made the decision for me easier, though. His family is very small, and it was very important to him that I take his last name. He told me this, and he openly asked that I take his name. He explained to me how much it meant to him for me to take his family name. In then end, his reasons for my taking his name were more compelling than my reasons for wanting to keep my last name. I have not regretted the decision.

I chose to switch to my husband's last name. I kept my entire birth name and added his family's name to the end. In the beginning I wrote them all. Over time, I rarely use my middle and maiden name. As our children have come along, there has been no discussion or confusion about what they would be named. I have many friends who chose to keep their maiden names when they married. Their families are also strong, cohesive units. What is most important is that the choice made take into consideration the feelings of both the husband and wife.

Learn more about this author, Elizabeth Curtis.
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