by Irrira Rikki

Created on: July 23, 2008   Last Updated: August 06, 2008

HEART PHYSICIAN
I received a call from overseas from my daughter. I could hear the pain in her voice. She had already lost her Dad when at school when she was 9, to a sudden heart attack. Now she was distressed about her sick brother, as their Dad's side of the family had a history of no male living to the age of 50: her brother's birthday was this day. He was now 48, and in hospital. Then I learned for the 1st. time of a regret she had harbored since she had had words with her Dad, before she caught the school bus, the day he died.

Regret was screaming in pain over the phone without her uttering the word once. She had also lost her first son at birth. I don't have a mum, nor ever had throughout all my married life, to turn to, so I imagine that is worth one point I can say, is that I am able to be there for her, even from a distance. My Mum died at 42, so I learned fast before that. (Strangely, even my final school report said I was, "able and willing") Able to deal with things does not call for just any action, but action of a different kind, like a physician.

Right now (I thought, after hanging up the phone with a prayer,) so decided to turn it into a letter: you need the word regret, cut out of your heart. You could call me a heart physician. But, if I were to panic while incising into your heart, I could make a grave (excuse this word as there are enough these days in their graves!) mistake, and that would do you no good. (On the other hand, me either for that matter.) I need to have compassion, but be detached from hurt; otherwise, I might even worry about hurting you when I operate. That too would not help you or me.

My emotions would get in the way, because of my love for you. I could shake too much; slip; or maybe even faint at the sight of your heart and blood because it came from me too! So how do I have compassion, and all the love, and still stay detached in order to help you heal? Well, that is something you (or a physician,) either is able to perform, or not. Otherwise, they, or I should never be one. So here I am with your heart in my hands. Written across it is mine and your name + "handle with care." (They are one and the same.) My blood too pumps through it. My God help me! (And he does.)
ME
Dear God,
"I have a daughter whom I love as equally as I love each of my 4 children. (And their children!) Anyway, you know her name, as well as I do. I have her heart in my hands here, and there's a word, regret, she needs extracting, which does not exist

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