by Dossie M Terrell

Created on: July 22, 2008   Last Updated: June 29, 2010

You can, but you shouldn't. When parents pay children for the privilege of their love by purchasing expensive and often wasteful gifts, they are aiding and abetting a life time of unwarranted expectations and a sense of entitlement. They spoil them and deny them the opportunity to become decent and giving human beings.

Parents who try to buy their children's affection are setting them up for unrealistic expectations of what to expect from others. The world will not open up its wallet for their children the second he or she becomes unhappy. If parents truly believe they must buy their children's affection, they are in fact, making little extortionists out of them. Think about it, when they see the control they wield, they will undoubtedly raise the bar; by then many parents will have lost control. A hug or a kiss should not come with a price tag.

There are children who love being difficult and challenging, especially if such behavior annoy their parents. Admittedly, there are those who comport themselves as though they were custom requested and manage to go through life causing few, if any, problems -  they are the exception. Most children love to get a rise out of  their parents, which is normal. If parents discover they say "no" more frequently than they say "yes," they should consider themselves great parents. One day their children will thank them for many of the "no's." Children want parameters established and clear-cut expectations. The best gift parents can give their children is the desire to serve and to give unselfishly to others, which will help to make the world a better place.

Additionally, no gift, no matter the cost, can substitute for parental love and guidance. As parents, do not assuage your guilt for not spending quality time with your children by buying gifts they don't need. Make time for them, it will be the best investment you will ever make. Instead of a costly gift, put a note  in one of  your child's book that says "I love you." You will never be able to present them with a more expensive or meaningful gift, one that will yield many, many positive returns.

When children know they are loved, they are apt to be less demanding and will become more giving. When parents do not allow their children to give unselfishly of themselvesto others, naturally, they rob both themselves and their children of wonderful and noble experiences. Above all, nothing takes the place of loving homes where children are loved unconditionally and can discuss any subject with their parents. These are homes where standards are established between children and parents and each child knows that if breached will result in punishment of some sort.. No gift, no matter how expensive, can substitute for caring and nurturing relationships.

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