I don't think I have PTSD, even though I have flashes of memories that were traumatic for me at the time. There's nothing like being shot at, while hunting, by some drunk who used his hunting trip as an excuse to mix guns and alcohol. There's also few things to compare to being shot at, and threatened, by a spouse who's decided he doesn't love you anymore so the marriage is over.

I have been known to duck and dive when sharp noises happen near me, be they someone's grill lid slamming shut, or a vehicle backfiring nearby. One thing I do know about this problem, once called 'battle rattle' among other descriptive titles, is that it is startling when it attacks and it's always there, hiding in the background. Oh, and it isn't ever a fun thing to deal with.

Living in a town surrounded by military bases, I've noticed something in the soldiers I see coming back. They seem to have lost the ability to smile. Ever watchful, which is understandable with what they've been through, they remind me of a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Jumpy, skittish, always ready to dive for cover, and totally startled when I walk up to them and ask to shake their hand. The looks I get from these soldiers are, in a way funny, but in another way very sad. When told 'Welcome Home' and 'Thanks for your service' they look at me like I've lost my mind.

Being the nut that I am I'm usually able to get a smile out of them, even if it is just because they think I'm crazy. Sometimes I can even get them laughing a little at some silly remark or a stupid headline on a tabloid about some spoiled brat Hollyweirdo that nobody really cares about anyway. I've even gone so far as to give out hugs and invite them to call me if they feel the need to talk to someone that won't rat them out to their officers. Boy does that get a smile!

However, sometimes that is just what they needed at that moment. Telling them 'Welcome Home' and meaning it can make the difference between life and death to that person. Right now I am seeking employment at a local base to work as a counsellor, helping newly returned soldiers figure out what they want to do next. If a soldier tells me he's thinking about eating his gun, I have no problem telling him I'll take him down and sit on him if he says that to me again. Of course, being a single mother of four, and grandmother of four, I don't mind adopting a few more. Sounds crazy? Well, I look at life this way. You don't have to be crazy to live in this world, but it helps.

Learn more about this author, Heather Foster.
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