There comes a time in many parents lives where fatigue causes a number of issues within the family. For whatever reason, whether it is teething or a form of separation anxiety, a baby in its first two years of life may wake and cry in the evening and disrupt the sleep habits of all other family members.
For parents who have tried everything from patting, rocking and even co-sleeping, the continuous interrupted sleep may lead you towards the 5-10-15 method of achieving much needed sleep in the home.
Also known as the Ferber Method, named after the expert on child sleep Dr Richard Ferber, this method is one that requires a strong resolve on behalf of the parent but is one that works when all other avenues have been exhausted.
Following is a guide on how to use the 5-10-15 method to solve your baby sleep issues.
DEVELOP GOOD SLEEP PATTERNS EARLY
As soon as your baby is bought home, good sleep habits must be established. Always put baby in their cot or bassinet awake and let them go to sleep naturally. Remove all items that could possibly stimulate your baby's senses, which includes lights, toys and mobiles that hang above the cot.
HAVE YOU ELIMINATED ALL POSSIBLE CAUSES OF INTERRUPTED SLEEP?
Assess your baby's environment to see if there is a reason for their waking. Is there a train or truck that makes noise at that particular time of the night? Is your baby cold or too hot, causing them to wake from their sleep? Does another child wake and therefore wake the baby?
Besides sickness and teething issues, if all possible causes have been eliminated and you can find there is no reason for your baby's waking, the Ferber method can be used.
WHEN IT IS TIME FOR THE 5-10-15 METHOD
If like me, you find that your previously good sleeper suddenly begins crying out of an evening after you have done all of the above. Other methods to help your baby sleep may need to be introduced.
I have had three children and find that at approximately six to twelve months they begin changing their sleep patterns. It is when you have exhausted all methods to ease your child back to sleep, and when perpetual interrupted sleep begins causing issues when the 5-10-15 method may need to be employed.
If you don't seem to be effected by a waking baby and the interrupted sleep and other methods work for you, then the Ferber Method may not be required.
IS YOUR BABY READY FOR THE 5-10-15 METHOD?
I am of the belief that a baby younger than six months is not emotionally ready for the Ferber method. Up until this age they still require the soothing of a parent and their cry is not manipulative nor due to requiring attention.
A child who has had the opportunity to develop a good sleep routine from birth may begin unusual sleep patterns from six months of age. It is when there is no possible reason other than an interrupted sleep pattern is when this method may be introduced.
ARE YOU READY FOR THE 5-10-15 METHOD?
Many of us don't like hearing our children cry. The sound of a baby crying and sometimes screaming in their rooms is one that causes distress to many parents. But it is when fatigue finally gets to us as it inevitably does, is when any kind of method will be employed to gain some much-needed rest.
It is usually at the stage when I could easily let my children cry and when I begin to feel frustrated with my fatigue, is when I know I'm emotionally ready to use the Ferber method.
THE INTENTION OF THE 5-10-15 METHOD?
The intention of the 5-10-15 method is not one to torture a child. It is one that allows them to learn how to self soothe and to develop a sleep pattern where they may awaken throughout the night but have the ability to get back to sleep.
NOMINATE A WEEK
You will need to nominate a week where you will use the Ferber method. Advise all your family and prepare them for the week ahead. If your neighbors are close and may be suffering from sleep deprivation, advise them on what you are doing as well.
I have used this method twice and find that a week is all it takes. If the technique is followed correctly, you too may see results within this time.
GET PREPARED
Before you begin the 5-10-15 technique you will need to prepare a few things before hand. I suggest you get a timer or alarm that you can set for the time intervals. I also suggest that if you have other children in the home, have them prepared for the baby crying and interrupted sleep.
Try and follow the technique as close as possible to the instructions. Some parents may want to modify the time intervals which is fine to do, but always ensure you remain set on your intention, which is to have your baby self soothe so he/she and you can get some rest.
THE 5-10-15 METHOD
By following the 5-10-15 technique, being strong in your final intention and not diverting from any of the instructions, this method will bring success if used properly.
1) Develop nighttime rituals
Just like nighttime rituals for toddlers, a baby should have one too. This could be in the form of dinner, bath time, reading a book together and then bed. Try to keep this time as quiet as possible by removing television, loud sounds and too much playtime that will stimulate your child into excitement rather than rest.
This bedtime ritual should be followed every evening and should not be deviated from.
2) Put baby down awake
After the bed time ritual is in place, it is time to put baby to bed. Your baby should be placed inside their cot awake. If a baby is awake when they go to bed, they learn to go to sleep of their own accord.
3) Time to begin the technique.
No doubt you'll discover that as soon as baby gets into their cot they will begin crying. They'll most likely get up and holding onto the rails of the cot, begin protesting of their sleep time.
When this begins, leave the room.
4) Time intervals
Depending on your own resolve on hearing your baby cry, the time intervals between checking them and soothing will differ for parents. I immediately began the 5-10-15 minute intervals, because by this time you're at your wits end anyway and need this method to work.
Set your timer for your chosen interval. The first time should be five minutes. The next ten minutes and the one after that fifteen minutes. You slowly increase the time and as it increases, your baby learns that crying only gets a quick check from mom or dad.
5) The soothing
After each interval you need to go in and check your baby and try and soothe them. You should never talk to your baby nor pick them up. Lay them gently down and pat or rub their backs. After a while you'll notice baby start to settle a bit more and the crying will cease. When this happens it is time to leave the room again.
If you follow the technique very closely and never divert to picking up your baby, you should begin to see results pretty quickly. If you do divert from the method, you may need to start the process all over again.
I have used this method successfully twice and recommend it when you are fighting severe fatigue and other methods do not work. But like anything, the 5-10-15 method of teaching a baby to sleep is not for everyone. In the long run and if used correctly, this method is quick and has proven successful for many a tired parent.