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Have you ever felt so depressed that not only was it difficult or even impossible to get out of bed, but you also believed that ending your life was the only way to escape he emotional pain you were feeling? Have you ever been so high on life that you spent your last penny, digging yourself deeper into debt with the absolute certainty that everything would just magically be okay and the money would come from somewhere? Have you ever been so sexually charged that you sought out strangers and ignored safe sex practices because you simply didn't care about the consequences? If so, you have experienced some of the more common symptoms of bipolar disorder. If not, you have no right to say that bipolar disorder is an excuse for bad behavior and bad choices rather than a mental illness.

Speaking as someone who suffered with this illness for most of my adult life before getting the proper treatment only recently, I can assure you that no one chooses to ride the roller coaster of bipolar disorder and no one in their right mind would ever claim to have it just to try and excuse their behavior.

My experience with bipolar disorder more than likely began in my late teens or early twenties, which is fairly common. I sought the help of mental health professionals and medical doctors at that time because I felt as if I were not in control of my own actions, feelings, thoughts and emotions. As is also very common, I was diagnosed with simple depression and spent years on medication to treat depression. Antidepressants can actually worsen the condition, pushing the person with bipolar disorder toward more manic episodes. I firmly believe this is what happened to me because only half of my condition was being treated.

This was nearly twenty years ago, however, and the information we have today on bipolar disorder and effective treatments was not as readily available. Though exact causes still remain a mystery, bipolar disorder is now recognized as a mood disorder, a legitimate mental illness and is being effectively controlled and treated through a variety of options including mood stabilizing medications like lithium and cognitive therapy or talking therapy, both of which I am currently utilizing with amazing results. In short, I have been able to feel like myself and feel more in control of my own actions than I have in decades. I honestly feel that seeking and receiving proper treatment has given me my life back.

From my first manic and depressed episodes in college, the next

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