2 of 24

Write now Article Tools

I'm addicted to coffee. There, I've admitted it right up front. Without my morning coffee, I would collapse to the floor, quivering and mumbling gibberish. Don't think for a minute that just one coffee would suffice, either. It's a two-drink minimum in my world, although the second coffee is always decaffeinated. Unfortunately, the details of my terrible addiction are even more sordid than you might imagine.

I work construction, and coffee drinkers hold the majority. While you might picture us as hearty beer drinkers, it's coffee that gets us going each day and keeps us revved up until the workday ends. We can't drink alcohol and use tools at the same time anyway. Beer is fine for after work, but I still prefer coffee. Some guys bring a thermos to work; not me! I did it for years and simply cannot tolerate the glassy, stale taste of thermos coffee. Yup, I'm a coffee snob.

Once upon a time, I'd stop at whatever gas station was handy to buy my caffeine fix. That was some baaad coffee, let me tell you! Gas station coffee has come a long way since then, however. It's big business and very competitive, with all sorts of flavored coffees and fancy creamers to choose from. I shun those, as well! I told you I'm a snob, didn't I?

For years our crew had breakfast meetings at McDonalds, and I considered the coffee there to be more than tolerable. "How is your coffee so delicious?" I can even recall asking one Mickey-Dee's employee. She explained that it's double-filtered and ultra-pure. Whatever. I no longer consider McCoffee to be an acceptable pick-me-up. I've moved on.

Dunkin Donuts has very good coffee, and I've been known to splurge now and then and stop in there to feed my addiction. They're a bit silly about the price, however. If I really wanted to pay almost $2 for my French vanilla decaf, I'd go to Starbucks and soak up the ambiance there. Dunkin Donuts does one more thing that bothers me, too: they have a Tip Jar in the drive-through window. They seed it with $1 bills. Riiiiight, like I'm going to throw in an extra dollar just because my "barista" is a cutie and she handed me my $2 coffee with a smile.

Okay, I'll just come out with it. I'm sure you'll understand. I'm addicted to Tim Horton's coffee. My veins yearn for it night and day. I'll gladly drive ten miles round trip just to get my Tim-fix. I know, you thought their commercials asserting this addiction were hyperbole. Let me assure the attraction is real, and irresistible. I'm not the only one, either, not

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: Coffee?
We want to hear your view. Write now!