by Tony Jones

Created on: July 20, 2008

Humans have a history of fighting Mother Nature, and trying to retain the memory of loved one is just part of that history. Egypt has the pyramids, and India has the Ta j Mahal, but modern families today can't afford build tributes like these. So we try to hold onto our dearly departed through the things they leave behind. That the beautiful side of grief. The other side is pure and simple greed.

Greed such an ugly word, but in times of grief one naturally has a tendency to think of one's self. We don't think in terms of sharing the shock of losing a loved one, but tend to personalize this grief with phrases such as; "Why did they leave me?" "How can I go on without them?" For this reason we have ceremonies such as wakes and funerals, but these events are meant to bring closure and inheritance proceedings have the potential of opening these wounds.

If you want to be remembered, then use your will as a testament of love. Identify particular items for special people and don't hesitate to tell the world why they should have this gift. A will should be a testament of love and serve as a thread of harmony that will hold the family together long after you leave this mortal coil. Fail to do this and your survivors will most certainly operate in doubt. Any doubt as to your intentions will lead to suspicion of the motives of others. How many of us have heard the comment "She always wanted me to have this..." and could never recall this speaker every earning the right to make such a claim? This naturally leads to a cycle of doubt and suspicion.

As my father used to say: Timing is so important." Unfortunately, we cannot choose the time of our death, but we can make a timely Last Will and Testament. If we feel that a certain friend or family member has earned the right to a particular item or piece of property, then we should care enough to insure that they get it. When you feel that a group of people such as a large family are equally deserving of the family home, then request to have it liquidated for the benefit of all. Requests that the proceedings of the sale be used to formulate a living testimony of love such as forming an educational trust fund for the grandchildren.

They say that the spirit of a loved exists as long as we can remember them. But once time has faded these memories, then we re-energize our memories of them through the gifts they leave behind.

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