by Valerie Zwald

Created on: July 20, 2008

As a child, I was a whiz at word games and puzzles - crosswords, search-a-words, scrambles- I never met a cipher I could not decipher. Until I tried similar puzzles with numbers. They just didn't "click" in my mind like the word puzzles did. Oh well, I told myself, no worries....everyone has his or her strengths, and numbers simply were not mine. I moved on to other life pursuits and really never gave the subject any more thought.....

Until I had a child of my own. A child bright and curious, verbose and eloquent, so much like his mother in almost every way.....except he has a talent that I never could possess: he is good at numbers, and he can do Sudoku. At first I didn't think it would bother me. After all I am always proud of my son's accomplishments, and this is no different. He excels in math and he can play a good game of chess, so something like Sudoku just naturally follows.....right? I mean, it is nothing that a grown woman should feel, I don't know, THREATENED by, right?
Only I was.
And I am.
Publicly, I praise my son and compliment him on his fine intellectual skills. I have purchased the child electronic versions of the game, magnetic Sudoku for road trips, and scads of puzzle books so he can practice and keep that mind of his sharp as a whip! Privately, I sit up until all hours trying to figure out one of the stupid little number games that he so nonchalantly pounds out while there is nothing better to do. I do fine, I really do, until the last two or three boxes are left and I realize the numbers will not do what I need them to do. Fine, so I'll erase a couple.....but then that messes up my vertical pattern.....Do I really need to have a three? Why can't I have two twos? But, then, that would ruin what I have going on with the horizontal numbers......
There is really no elegance to such a silly game. There is nobility in knowing a three letter word for an Asian water fowl. There is a self-satisfaction that can be felt when filling Alfred Hitchcock's middle name into the appropriate number of squares. But I cannot for the life of me find a grand purpose for arranging numerals into rows. It is unnecessary and tiring and - I am afraid it has to be said - headache inducing. As a consequence, I am going to announce right now that Sudoku is a terrible, awful way to pass the time......
And I will stand by my declaration until the day comes that I solve one of the blasted things!

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