It took me a minute, while reading down the list of topics under the "adoption" category, to realize that I could write an article on "adopting a child of another race." My family is much like the United Nations but that fact rarely enters the minds of family members. All my grandchildren are precious and loved equally, by all involved.
The adoption process started in my family when my second oldest daughter and her husband had trouble conceiving a child biologically. They tried everything, from infertility testing to very expensive invitro fertilization. Nothing worked. It was an agonizing and frustrating few years for them.
After much discussion my daughter and her husband decided to adopt. They began the long search for a child through various agencies in the area. In the end, they chose an agency that dealt with overseas adoptions from South Korea. They chose South Korea mostly because this agency was the only one that didn't require long stays in the country as part of the adoption process. You only had to fly to New York City to meet your child who was brought over on an airplane by a student or other traveler from that country.
The entire process was a long and grueling one. The paperwork was mind-boggling and the background checks and interviews exhausting. But the determined couple persevered and, finally, after over a year of processing and red tape, they received a picture of a male infant who was born with a cleft lip. My daughter and her husband fell instantly in love with the baby in the picture. They put in a formal request for this infant and the final process was underway.
The whole family, grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles were at the airport to meet my daughter, her husband and their infant son when they stepped off the plane from New York City. And it didn't take long for baby Anthony to wrap us all around his little finger.
Anthony underwent surgery to correct his cleft lip when he was four months old. He still had the braces on his little arms (to prevent him from pulling off the protective bandages) when I stood with my daughter and her husband in the judge's chambers to sign the final adoption papers.
My daughter and her husband didn't want Anthony to be an only child, so they applied to adopt another baby from South Korea. This adoption went a little quicker, though not by much. This time they decided to drive to New York City to meet the airplane that was bringing baby Tyler to his new parents. So we all had to be more patient in waiting to meet him. Tyler also captured all our hearts.
Several years later, my second youngest daughter, though unmarried, was talking to her sister about the prospect of also adopting a child. Though nervous about taking on the responsibility of being a single mom, she felt the strong desire to be a mother and decided to look into it.
This time, going through a local Catholic agency in our area, my daughter learned that the country of Guatemala was allowing babies to be adopted. My daughter began the process, which was every bit as exhausting and frustrating as her sister's. Added to the mix was the fact that, in the middle of the process, the Guatemalan government was undergoing an upheaval in their adoption system. At several points we were worried that all adoptions would be stopped. It was a very stressful time for my daughter and I spent many hours on the phone trying to calm her fears and offer support.
Finally, the adoption was approved and my daughter asked me if I would go to Guatemala with her to meet her daughter. By this time, we had many pictures of the beautiful infant and the foster mother who was caring for her in Guatemala. I was as excited as my daughter when we boarded the airplane for our trip.
My daughter decided to name her baby girl after her sister, my oldest daughter, who died of cervical cancer the year before. Toni (Antoinette) soon became the apple of everyone's eye. Like her sister before her, this daughter didn't want Toni to be an only child so she applied for another baby also. Two years later, baby Marie joined the happy family. My daughter was very lucky as Guatemala closed its adoption system soon after Marie came to the United States.
As for the racial aspect of these adoptions, there are none as far as our family and friends are concerned. Even the fact that these children were adopted is rarely in mind as they are as much a part of our family as the biological grandchildren. They are loved and cherished just as much. Love knows no boundaries. Love has no divisions. Love is a universal emotion and pays no attention to ancestry.
Both my daughters have expressed a desire to allow their children to learn more about their birth countries and cultures, as they get older. They read books together about South Korea and Guatemala and discuss the culture. The parents make no secret of the adoptions and openly discuss the process with their children.
All involved have benefited greatly from the adoptions. My daughters are blessed with beautiful, happy, children and the children with loving and caring parents.
And I am blessed with the most wonderful grandchildren in the world. Of course, I may be a little biased.