by Veronica St. George

Created on: January 04, 2007   Last Updated: May 02, 2007

Sometimes "Arranged" Doesn't Translate

About fifteen years ago, I went on a five-week trip to India. It was a beautiful and eye-opening experience, and I came away with a couple of saris, some new cultural information, and heaps of great memories. One of the things that particularly struck me there was the concept of arranged marriage.

Of course I had heard of it before. I even had a fairly favourable view of the process. But when I returned home, I was so enamoured of the idea that I announced to my parents that I wanted them to arrange a marriage for me. Dating was hard for me to come by, and I trusted my parents and their taste. I had high hopes for my own adaptability and capacity to learn to love anybody. Oddly enough, though, my parents didn't seem to eager to adopt the new responsibility, and here I am, a decade and a half later, still single.

However, a Western version of arranged marriage nearly struck a few years after that trip. In the intervening years, I had spent some considerable time living among many cultures in London, England. On my return to the U.S. this time, I was tired, sorry to be back in my home country, and frustrated by the lack of at the very least a boyfriend. In the middle of all that, a family I barely knew but who had become good friends with my parents, had decided that I would be the perfect bride for a single male friend of theirs.

Hypothetically, I was okay with this. I had always said I would be okay with this. Anyway, our being white Westerners necessitated some alterations to the arranged marriage traditions. This was only supposed to be arranged dating. Surely I could manage that. But no; when it came right down to meeting the man in question, I balked. Who are these people? I thought. Why do they think they know anything about me? Why do they think they can foist their friend on me like this?

We didn't even get a first date. I guess I still like the idea of arranged marriage. But if you try to arrange one for me, I'll probably run a mile.

Learn more about this author, Veronica St. George.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.