by hisbabydoll

Created on: July 18, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

While a planned adult pregnancy is happily sprung on parents over the phone or at lunch, a teen pregnancy is a harder pill for parents to swallow. While you are probably ashamed and scared out of your pants, most parents will be supportive when you tell them.

Sure, they might ask the normal questions like: "What the hell were you thinking?" or "Who is the father? Not the biker boy, oh God!" and perhaps your mother (or father) will faint or start to cry. No worries! Take a deep breath and wait while they process the surprising news.

My advice for telling your parents you are pregnant is to do it as soon as you find out. Teen pregnancies can be difficult and even dangerous depending on your age. For your health and the baby's health you need to sign up with an obstetrician and get yourself on pregnancy vitamins as soon as possible. Your baby needs folic acid to deter complications such as spine bifida. Or if you decide you want to go the other route involving a trip to the abortion clinic, the sooner you get there the easier the operation will be. You'll need your parent's moral support and probably, their signature.

Depending on your relationship with the baby's father, you might want to enlist their help telling your parents. I've always thought it really sucks to be the father of an unplanned teenage pregnancy as much as it sucks for the mother. Sure, the mother has to make some hard life-altering decisions and go through the "wonders" of child-birth, but the father usually has a complete lack of control over the situation. What if he wants to keep and raise the child, and she wants to have an abortion? In most cases the girl will end up with custody of the baby, and since teen relationships last about as long as a tank of gas, he may not get to share in raising the child.

Involve the father in the process if he wants to be a part of it. Invite him and his parents over to dinner with you parents! Arm yourself with the following list of answers to their questions.

1. Do you plan to have the baby?

2. Do you plan to keep the baby?

3. What are you going to do about school? Some school systems will have a program for underage parents including parenting classes and even daycare.

4. Do you plan to go to university or college still? If so, how will you manage?

5. Do you plan to live at home when you have the baby, because if so your parents will have added responsibility they should be ready for.

6. Did you plan on getting pregnant or was it an accident?

7. Do you plan to marry the father of the baby?

After your parents survive their initial heart attack, they'll want answers to all the above questions. Looking forward to their retirement, they may see your incoming bundle of joy as two more decades of child raising. They may like this idea or not. Maybe they'll be over-joyed to have a grandchild while they are still young! If you want to give your child up for adoption, give your parents, or his, the first chance at raising the child if they want. My uncle raises his oldest son's daughter as his own. It was a little weird. Grampa-daddy and daddy-brother, but she turned out just fine!

If you have a shaking relationship with your parents, or if you drew the short straw and have drunken abusive parents from hell - turn to another adult figure in your life. A grandparent, cousin, or even school guidance councellor. A pregnancy can be a joyous occasion, even if you are young and the bundle of joy is unplanned.

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