by Cathy A Montville

Created on: July 18, 2008   Last Updated: October 01, 2011

My family tries to find a bit of humor in everything we face in life. It isn't always easy. It certainly helps to make things better, if only for a moment. My mother didn't try to be funny; she was naturally hilarious. Even when she was facing her last days on earth, she made me laugh. Surprising to some, it happened during the process of making her funeral arrangements.

The Money Tree

Mom was not a wealthy woman. In reality, she was anything but wealthy. She lived her entire life thinking that money grew on trees. My father use to say, "If money grew on trees, all our branches would be bare."

Her manner of thinking would be no different when it came time to plan her funeral. This was two weeks before she passed over. My mother believed she was rich right to the end.

The Undertaker

"We have to talk about the undertaker." That's what my mom said to me that day. She was a modern woman all her life. Even at 76, she was still liberated. I was stunned by the word "undertaker."  I hadn’t heard that word since I was a kid.

I told her no one called it that anymore. “That’s an outdated term,” I quipped. “It’s now called a funeral director.” She said, “I really don’t give a damn what the proper term is.” She was ready to make her preparations.

Lack of Insurance

My mother retired from a state job. She’d held that job for half her life. She had exceptional health benefits. However, her life insurance policy was inadequate by today's standards. I knew it would not cover the debt she was leaving behind, never mind a funeral. She was well aware of that as well. It is no secret that funeral expenses are off the chart.

My mom had made absolutely no prior provisions for a funeral. She talked about it many times. She never got around to it, though. That’s probably because she didn’t plan on dying. You have to remember; she thought she was rich, too.

Putting Off the Talk

Talking to my beloved mother about her funeral was something I dreaded. I tried to avoid the inevitable. I knew she was dying…she knew she was dying. We didn’t talk about it…as if that would stop what was happening.

We had to get this done, though, no matter how much it pained us to do so. This was the hardest part of the death process for me. I needed to know what my mother wanted in the end. Nevertheless, I didn't know how we were going to be able to speak the words.

Surprising Revelations

After my mom said

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>