by George Dimitriadis

Created on: July 18, 2008   Last Updated: November 16, 2008

"How can I teach mathematical probability?" I reflected as I entered the classroom.
I moved my chair from behind the desk so that it faced the class, and I sat down without talking. My students soon stopped their conversations and looked on with interest.
"I'm driving to school," I said as I flailed my arms and legs in fair imitation of how Marcel Marceau might behave if he was high on caffeine. At the same time I released childish car sounds that should only be used at a kindergarten playgroup.

"Ahead of me are traffic lights that stay green for thirty seconds and show red for sixty seconds."
I avoided an imaginary collision by thrusting my leg forward, imitating a driver braking and the car screeching to a halt.
"Did you crash, sir?" Janice enquired in an effort to appease me.
"Missed it by that much!" I replied, mimicking Maxwell Smart's catchphrase.
Janice turned to Julia and remarked, "There but for the grace of God go I."
Ignoring Janice's idiom, I asked, "What is the probability that I have to stop?"
"Zero, because you never stop," Stavros advised, giving the thumbs down to my histrionics.
"The probability is two thirds," Lino proposed, "because the lights are red for sixty of the ninety seconds, and sixty over ninety is two thirds."
Yao raised her hand to disagree. "I think it's one half because at any given time the light is going to be either red or green," she correctly concluded.
"Can we go on a field trip?" Jimmy asked excitedly. "We can learn more about probability that way," he lied.
The truism that excursions are synonymous with self flagellation is a tenet in the teaching profession, but I agreed to Jimmy's request.
"When is it?" the Principal wanted to know.
"The Ides Of March," I replied, "I'm taking my group to the research and development section of ProtoSoft. And I'll try to stay out of trouble," I added quickly.
" Your career is ephemeral. Even if something goes wrong, it won't matter," he retorted with a trace of a smile.
"Et tu, Brute? You're a real Job's comforter," I complained.
The bus trip on the morning of March 15 was uneventful except for the singing that inexplicably irked the bus driver. Exasperated, he finally turned his head whilst driving and not too kindly said, "Sir, please stop singing! Can't you behave like your students?"
At ProtoSoft we were welcomed by Bill Stranks, Chief Executive Officer, who ushered us through tight security along an air-conditioned passageway. On either side were glass panelled rooms inside which Bill Gates clones

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