by Robert Mcmartin

Created on: July 18, 2008

Short of product testing a 40 Kiloton nuclear warhead on the local population of rabbits, prairie dogs and other warm, furry creatures of the forest, normal product testing on animals will not hurt the environment.

Although if you test on 40,000 animals a week, the lack of small furry warm creatures within a 500 mile region of where the testing is being carried out would definitely hurt the environment. Just think of what you would have to do with all those small cold, furry carcasses. There are only so many fast food restaurants around, after that people are going to start asking why there burgers taste of perfume, lipstick and mascara.

Small scale testing with laboratories, of warm furry animals will not affect the environment, certainly there will be the normal animal waste to dispose of, as well as denuding the local lettuce crop, nut all within acceptable limits.

No, the disturbing aspects for your local environment would be the site of of a laboratory worth of small warm, furry creatures wearing makeup. It may just be me, but the sight of a rabbit with false eyelashes, mascara, lipstick and perfume, just makes they look to cheap and slutty. This, to me, would definitely affect the visual environment somewhat.

The chain smoking monkeys, would also have both an olfactory and visual affect on the environment. I mean the little devils would be puffing away, sending up huge clouds of white smoke, you would either think they have elected a new pope, or there was a poker tournament in town. I mean please, these monkeys should be chained to typewriters at least, that way they can at least attempt to recreate Shakespeare's Love's Labour's Won (when they do please call me).

I think, in order for us to actually say if testing products on animals hurts the environment, we first need to decide what is the environment we are talking about.

If this was any Night Club in the Western world, the sight of heavily made up rabbits and other warm furry creatures, prancing about with mascara, lipstick, rouged cheeks and false eye lashes, with chain smoking monkeys nattering and chatting away in the corner, then I would say that no, they aren't hurting the environment, although with that much make up and looking very cheap, I would suspect that they have definite self esteem issues. As for the smokers, well most clubs these days have separate areas for them, where they can talk about English Literature all they want.

So no, test away I say, if you want a world of cheap, tarts and floozy animals, with chronic smokers hack and emphysema.

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