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Poetry: Gaming humor

by Willard Simms

Created on: July 18, 2008

WINTER OF A POKER PLAYER

He throws out a bet without any fret, like an avalanche down from a mountain
Then your blood stops moving around inside, like you're now a frozen fountain.
He's Stormy Winters, made of dry ice, with icicles hanging from his ears.
Look into his crystal blue gray eyes - they'll bring out your greatest fears.

Cruel and cold and hard as a glacier; his face never melts in the night.


Look as deep and long as you possibly can, you'll see only alabaster white.
He rakes in the pot, taking all you've got, leaving a trail of frost on the table.
You stare at your cards and puzzle and moan, he's put your brain on disable.

The stories abound how he breaks players down, and puts them on tilt forever.
The worst of the lot was a stranger who thought he was just unbeatably clever.
The Stranger beat Winters seven hands straight, as a cold wind started to blow
It seemed to the players it dropped thirty degrees and then it began to snow.

But the stage was set to make just the right bet, and the next hand set it up.
The Strangers two cards, he looked at them hard, the king and queen of clubs.
As Winters peeked, his eyes turned to sleet, though nobody saw him do it.
He put out some chips and licked his lips and the Stranger knew he blew it.

He's bluffing the pot, not caring what he's got, he's only setting the stage.
I'll just call for now, act like I'm weak - then later - turn the page.
The flop went down, it was the Strangers dream, two red queens and a king.
Winters eyes stared ahead, unblinking and dead, they didn't show a thing.

Stormy made a small bet and the Stranger raised, exactly four times the pot.
Then icy fingers pushed out more chips, "All in, I'm betting what I've got."
The Stranger clapped, Winters fell in the trap, the champ was about to fall.
Then he heard: "I'll bet this place and everything in, but to win, you have to call!"

"You're bluffing here, we both know it's true." the Stranger said, quite bold.
"But what have I got to match your bet, and see the cards you hold?"
"Seven hands in a row you won tonight, that's a tale that's going to linger.
So for every hand that you won from me, I'll just chop off a finger."

The Stranger blinked, he had his man beat, but this bet was just so pricey.
"If I win he's out, I've got a full house, my chances aren't even dicey.
He's on a small pair, trying to bluff with a dare, I won't be losing a thing."
So the Stranger called, threw down his cards, full boat, queens over kings.

They turned two more cards, when nothing paired, the Stranger started to gloat.
Then Winters flipped over his pocket kings - he had the bigger full boat.
"I'll let you choose which fingers to lose, but I always collect on a wager.
There's graves outside, men who died, not thinking they were in danger."

"You beat me fair, I thought it was a dare, your bet seemed such a bold one.
But if I agree, it'll be the end for me, as a professional player of holdem."
"You caught a few hands and you had a good run, but you really are no expert.
If I take your fingers the loss of this game, in the long run won't even hurt."

So the Stranger left with seven bloody stumps, and never played poker again.
Yet Stormy Winters knew, while cold winds blew, the man truly had much talent.
But crystals of ice didn't float in his veins, and no glaciers formed in his heart.
Cuz everyone who plays in the big game knows, that's what sets Stormy apart.

Learn more about this author, Willard Simms.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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