by Amanda S.

Created on: July 18, 2008

Having your heart broken by the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with (or at least the foreseeable future) is one of the worst kinds of pain. It's the pain of realizing that the person you envisioned a future with does not want a future with you. At first, it's a gut-wrenching pain, not just emotionally but physically as well. The reality that you are going to have to live the rest of your life without the person you love is incomprehensible.

Everyone has a different reaction to being "dumped". Some get angry, some get depressed, some bury their feelings deep inside and act like everything is fine. One thing that is universal is that it takes time to get through a break-up. No one will come out unscathed, but if you learn from your mistakes and grow from this difficult experience, you can come out on the other side as a wiser (and possibly better) person.

The question that will drive you crazy is "Why?" It'll drive you crazy because you may never find out the answer. Often the person who breaks up with you won't tell you the real reason, possibly because s/he does not want to hurt you or because s/he has something to hide. Even if you do discover the reason, it probably won't help you get over the situation any faster. The truth is that for whatever reason, your heart was broken, and it will take time to heal.

So the pertinent question is: How do you survive a broken heart?

First of all, allow yourself to mourn the loss of your relationship. Take the time that you need, and don't let anyone tell you how you should feel or that you should be "over it" by now. You need a trusted friend that you can call at any time who will be patient and understanding and will help you get through your rough patch.

Second, keep going. While you may not feel like going out or even getting out of bed, it is a good idea for you to make plans with your friends. Strengthening your friendships will remind you that you are not alone and will take your mind off of your heartache for a while.

Third, do NOT call your ex. Honestly, s/he probably does not want to hear from you. If s/he wanted to talk to you s/he would call you. It's extremely tempting and you make up what you think are valid excuses ("I have to ask for my stuff back", "I have to give him/her his/her stuff back", "I just want to make sure s/he is okay", "I want to try to be friends", etc.), but you have to resist. If you want your stuff back, send a friend to get it. If you want to give him/her

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