by Joe Murray

Created on: July 17, 2008   Last Updated: July 18, 2008

After reading an excerpt from Steve Martin's new memoir in the February Smithsonian Magazine, I was astonished to learn that it took him ten years to perfect the effortless lunacy he projected in his 1976 appearance on Saturday Night Live.

There is no substitution for practice, no matter how talented the performer. And screenwriting is as nuanced and performance based as acting, directing or any of the other myriad skills in life. It's just that the screenwriter is the first crewmember "on set," and very often the first to get thrown off it.

But before practice, acquire the tools. Screenplays are as heavily structured as a legal document. Getting one thing wrong will get it filed in the waste basket.

Here I am heavily indebted to Robert McKee's "Ten Commandments of Screenwriting" from his highly regarded story seminars and books, and when I cite him he will get the credit.

Steven King's "On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft" is a candid discussion of King's life, his days as a struggling writer/high school English teacher, his accident, and good bare-knuckled advice to the next generation of writers. If McKee provides the passion, King provides the structure for this article.

The rest is what I've learned.

THE 35 GUIDLINES OF SCREENWRITING

1. Respect your audience. (McKee) ALWAYS give them what they want. NEVER give them what they expect.

2. All stories are about someone who desperately wants something, and someone else who desperately wants to prevent them from the getting of it. This is your PRINCIPAL CONFLICT.

Okay. Most stories. The most famous exception to this rule is the "Epic of Gilgamesh," which is more of a buddy story. But no doubt the fragments that survive are only the beginning and end of a 27 century old saga that bookends other episodes made up by campfire raconteurs relating how King Gilgamesh and his Tarzan-like pal Enkido kick around Mesopotamia fighting bad guys and solving crimes like "Cagney and Lacey," only not as butch.

3. Never make it too easy for your protagonist to achieve his goals or acquire his tools. This is the source of your DRAMATIC TENSION.

If you absolutely cannot avoid allowing your hero to get something too easily, at least have him obtain it by cleverness.

4. The protagonist must finish what he starts. (McKee)

The problem or conflict the hero encounters at the beginning of the story must be solved by him at the end, even if means accidently poisoning his mother or poking out his eyes. This is your principal CHARACTER ARC.

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