by Saira Karim

Created on: July 17, 2008

Bang ! Crash Wallop! It's over . This is such a loaded question that it needs at least 10 pschoanalysts, seven psychiatrists, and perhaps four feel good new age thinkers to answer it.
Even then there will be grey areas and questions left unanswered by those suffering long term pain in brocken relationships.

One of the key factors for a break up is of course lack of communication and undertsanding between couples. Often each one thinks it's all about them and how they have been treated in the steady decline of an unhappy situation and of course it is but a genuine and sincere willingness to work things out can yield positive results . Step by step if they really want to have a stab at saving their relationship they can and generally will. Crucially, however, the willingness and passion to make things work has to be real, alive and more important than the past. "The ice cream days", when love was in spring time bloom and anything seemed possible is only half the battle to rediscover that magical spark between you and your partner. When people talk to one another without trading ugly insults and offensive comments they come at least part of the distance to that tower of hope .

Any relationship is complicated with layers and layers of ideologies, sacrifice, courage, duty , politics, responsibilties and social ties to unravel. But the essence of all that is good, pure and unflinchingly beautiful in a relationship : that point of connection if you will is to be able to ride that magic wave : that bridge of hope that exists between you and the individual you bond with :that is the poetry of a real realtionship something that has no logic, defies convention perhaps and is solid and lasting.

The social graces of manners and forced game playing or modern day etiquette in a relationship can be enormously detrimental as like cat and mouse you trip and stumble over who should or should not make the first move , what can and can't be said , how and where to do things . At the end of the day this is all artifice it means nothing in the big scheme of things when you want to be close to that person and they're not there because you felt a sense of moral or social duty not to call, not to get in touch , not to talk to that person. If such constraints exist in what essentially is a force of nature : a chemmistry an implosion of feeling then what hope is there for any relationship ? To be bound by such rigidity in a crisis effectively means that feelings are bumped off for social

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