I found Elizabeth I's poem, "On Monsieur's Departure", to speak out to me on the struggle of loving someone and being denied that love. In her poem, Elizabeth tells a story about how she desperately loves someone but must behave as if she does not. These actions cause her great pain and confusion. After a while she becomes resistant to her feelings until she discovers she can no longer hide from them. She is faced with denying her duty or denying her heart. As she talks through her feelings, I had the impression of someone dealing with the death of a loved one. At first, she is in denial and then becomes somewhat angry and resentful. Through the second stanza she moves on to feelings of sadness and regret. Finally, in the third stanza she completes this cycle of coping by resigning to her feelings. In her hopes of finding closure, she ends by pleading, "Or let me live with some more sweet satisfaction/or let me die and so forget what love ever meant" (Elizabeth I, lines 17-18).
In "On Monsieur's Departure", the reader discovers a woman who is apparently distraught over her feelings for a lover she can not obtain. Due to Elizabeth's royal position as queen and the duties that she must uphold it is no wonder that she would not be permitted to choose any suitor of her liking. She must choose according to what will be suitable to her position on the thrown. Elizabeth has to put the concerns of her government and the people she rules ahead of her own wishes. This must have been a terrible burden on her and must have brought on a feeling of isolation as well. She did try to find some small escape from these pressures and troubling personal conflicts by writing poetry. Through reading "On Monsieur's Departure", the reader is able to grasp the inner struggle Elizabeth endures over her feelings for this lover and the knowledge that she can not have him.
The title of the poem "On Monsieur's Departure" quickly informs the reader that this poem is about someone leaving. However, there is not enough information to tell the reader if this is a temporary or permanent departure. After reading through the poem, it becomes apparent that Elizabeth is consumed by the loss of a love she can not obtain. Therefore, making this departure a lasting one.
Throughout this poem, the tone shifts from sadness and despair to love and on to hopelessness and resignation. In the first stanza, the word "I" is used repeatedly to take claim of these powerful and conflicting feelings the poet is feeling. She is unhappy but her position does not allow her to show such weakness. She is overwhelmed with her feelings of love but in the presence of others must show no more than hatred and disdain to keep up her image. She describes herself as appearing silent and tranquil. However, inside she is transformed by the ceaseless talk running through her mind. In the last two lines of this stanza, Elizabeth states pointedly, "I am and not, I freeze and yet am burned, / since from myself another self I turned" (5-6). As a result of making herself appear cold toward her lover in front of observers, she has in turn hurt herself by denying this love she desires. She no longer is able to identify with who she is or what she truly feels.
Elizabeth uses a simile at the beginning of the second stanza to describe her love, "My care is like my shadow in the sun" (7), she goes on to give this love a life of its own with the ability to do as she does and go where she goes but flees from her if she tries to grab hold of it. This description of her love reflects on how she tries to defy her feelings but in the end becomes victim of those same emotions. In the last two lines of the second stanza, Elizabeth finally comes to the realization that "No way can I find to get him out of my heart" (11). She finds that she can no longer run from the burning desire in the depths of her heart.
In the third stanza, the reader's attention is drawn towards a more resigned attitude when Elizabeth claims, "Some gentler passion comes into my mind/for I am soft and made of melting snow" (13-14). However, the tone quickly gets thrown back into a whirlwind of torn emotions as Elizabeth fills the lines with oxymorons: cruel/kind, float/sink, high/low, live/die. The desperation and frustration is brought around to full circle.
To completely understand these overpowering feelings we must first understand who Elizabeth was. Elizabeth I existed in a highly public life where every decision was closely watched and discussed. She was the first female ruler of her time and this brought on a concern of whether or not she could rule her kingdom as sternly and efficiently as a man could. By squelching her personal feelings from the public she was able to rule wisely and objectively. When Elizabeth finally came to realize she could not be with the one she loved, she decided to take on a life of loneliness by refusing to marry any man. By doing this she further strengthened her power as queen. However, despite her strong appearance outwardly she never learned to tame the passion that burned inside of her.
Works Cited:
Tudor, Elizabeth I. "On Monsieur's Departure." The Longman Anthology of Women's Literature. Ed. Mary K. Deshazer. New York: Longman, 2001. 428-429.