by Melvin Barella

Created on: July 17, 2008

I think it is very unselfish to give up a child if you cannot care for your child or if you do not want your child for any reason. My son is adopted and there was a time in my life, when my wife and I were having difficulty in or lives having a children. My wife was very stressed and unhappy because of failing pregnancies, and she was going through a time of deep depression. My wife who was an adopted child herself and was raised in a great family by people who loved her more then if she was their biological child. When my wife and I were having difficulty having a child and she asked me if we could adopt, and me coming from a large family of biological parents I felt it would be awkward for me to love a child that I did not father.I told my wife that my parents were my parents and no other could replace them. My wife opened my eyes when she said, an I quote," if as some time in your life the hospital came to you and said that they mixed up babies in your childhood and your mother and father were not your real parents would they be any less your parents" I got to thinking, would they be any less my parents and my answer was no, they were the only parents I know.

Once my wife told me that one of her so called friends came to her and told her that her parents were not her parents and she was distrait and immediately did not believe her friend. Her friend over heard on of the other parents talking and my wife and her parents were the topic of conversation. Of course my wives parents had not discussed this with her and she was unaware she was adopted and she was very upset. My wife immediately confronted her parents and wanted to know the truth. Her parents said it was true and they were worried they would upset her if they told her too soon before she would understand. My wife said friends were making fun of her and trying to hurt her. My wives parents being very wise said that they got a chance to pick their child and was not stuck with what the got. What a wonderful explanation. I have a saying that I my wife I get for our son, "you were born in our heart and not under it". I think it was very unselfish for the biological parents of our son to give us the opportunity to have a child that they could not raise. It also made it possible for my wife to have to other biological children, because we had 2 other children after we adopted our son. My wife was able to get over her depression and have two beautiful daughters. My son just turned 39 on the 15th of July and he is the parent of 2 beautiful children of which I am a proud grandfather. So, yes my answer would always be if you feel that you cannot give your child a wonderful loving home then give someone else a chance to share their life with you biological child and let the child be you own.

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