The Year(s) of the Chicken

June: We have moved to the country! As a child growing up in L.A., I dreamed of having a farm. I buy a book on raising chickens. My husband I decide we can convert our 100 year old barn into a chicken area. We put out the word that we are ready to become farmers.

July: Friend gives us hen with five baby chicks. Two chicks squeeze through fence dog gets them. Purchase $40 chicken wire. Purchase $30 chicken food. Purchase $20 feeders and waterers. Man at feed store laughs, "Oh you got chickens? Well it's just like a boat. The happiest day of your life is when you get it; the second happiest is when you get rid of it." He cautions me not to feed egg layer mix until hens are mature. "Otherwise they may have a blowout," he says, rolling his eyes meaningfully. I am too embarrassed to ask what a blowout is.

August: Purchase $30 chicken food. Victoria, Victor, and Mathilda are growing big. Mother hen Brownie hasn't laid an egg yet.

September: Brownie starts laying eggs. At the end of the week I have four which make the most heavenly lemon meringue pie of our lives. We are joyful and hopeful.

October: Purchase $30 chicken food.

December: Husband brings home four baby chicks from biology class at school. No electricity in barn so we raise them in the house ugh! This absolutely isn't going to work. Spend $100 running electricity to barn install heat lamps.

January: Purchase $30 chicken food. Victoria and Mathilda are laying eggs. Two of biology class chicks die so we buy two more at feed store.

February: Purchase $30 chicken food. Baby chicks Henny, Penny, Jenny, and Bugeater develop coccidiosis. Purchase $5 medicine.

March: Purchase $30 chicken food sell four dozen eggs, $1 a dozen. Lemon meringue pies are great.

April: Put seven eggs to set under Brownie. After two weeks, husband brings in wrong ones, and I crack them into my chocolate chip cookies. No, we didn't eat them.

May: Remaining five eggs hatch. One chick falls through hole in barn floor. Husband tears up entire floor to rescue. Purchase $30 chicken food. Barn floor wood looks pretty rotten so we buy $200 lumber to repair.

Second year:

June: Purchase $30 chicken food now selling $8 worth of eggs per month.

July: Three of five chicks are roosters. We can't bear to eat them so we give them away to a friend who runs a Chinese restaurant. Then we don't eat there for a month until we're sure they're no longer in the

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