by Ruth Scalpone

Created on: July 17, 2008

Similar But Different

Though they are both human, and therefore are similar to each other in terms of species and DNA, men and women are different in very many ways. Most people learned when they were children that boys and girls are different, either by "playing doctor", by the way they were treated, or by the kinds of toys they were given as presents.

It was thought boys would instinctively like cars and trucks, because they were boys, after all. Girls would love dolls because of their maternal instinct. People had different opinions about whether boys and girls liked different things because of biology, or because of the way they were raised.

Feminists have argued for years that men and women are equal. The so-called "Women's Libbers" said women have to do everything men do. Even now, after decades of such propaganda, some women acknowledge that men and women are different. Some even treasure the truth.

There was a time when fathers decided how much education their children received. Education for girls often seemed like a waste of money since girls got married and had children to care for, not a career to attain and maintain. Girls were often seen by their fathers as lucrative property to be bargained off to the highest bidder.

The qualities of kindness and nurturing that women used to show aren't always evident now. A lot of women who were raised to believe that they were the gentler sex, were dismayed when they reached adulthood and found they were expected to have jobs outside of the home as well as take care of their families and homes.

New words and phrases were developed in the 1960's: sexual harassment, male chauvinist pigs, and sexism. Women already do have the opportunity to go to college, and they do not need affirmative action favoring women in education or in workplaces.

Women are not cherished and protected anymore. They are supposed to do everything men do, from home repairs to fighting fires and being in combat. If they have children, after working through their pregnancy up until they give birth, they are expected to return to work when the baby is one month old.

They then are supposed to turn care of their baby over to someone else so they can work outside of the home, if they want to or not. They may feel guilty about leaving their precious children with a nanny or day care center, not caring for their children themselves, missing so much of the baby's infancy, and knowing that time can never be regained.

Not very many husbands are willing or able to support a family on their own, and strongly pressure their wives to return to work as soon as possible.

An exception to this sometimes happens when people who were latchkey children themselves have children. They have memories of too many times when they felt scared and lonely when they were alone, and both of their parents were at work. They will not treat their own children as badly as they felt they were treated.

Absolute equality between the sexes is not something that everyone wants. If a couple does want it and also want to have children, they should seriously think about it before they have children, if they have them at all. There will be many times when the children are not with their parents, but still need to be cared for. Are they willing to turn over raising their children to someone else?

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