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Seriously, if I was the one in charge of the Dodgers, I would be blown away by my allocation of funds and the corresponding production. Look at what the players are doing and how much money they are making to do it.

Andruw Jones is hitting .164 and earning almost $15 million this season and scheduled to earn over $20 million next season. Jones was brought in because of a lineup that supposedly lacked home run pop. Well, he has only hit two home runs and driven in just 12 runs all season. I know he was hurt for a while, but still that production is pathetic.

Juan Pierre, another injured outfielder, is getting paid nearly $8 million this season. He has stolen 35 bases on the season, yet has only scored 30 runs as my leadoff hitter. It doesn't follow logic that the reason for his lack of scoring is due to lack of hitting behind him, because the guy hitting second all season, right behind him has scored 47 runs.

Just above Pierre on the payroll at $9 million for the season is Jeff Kent, the 40-year-old second baseman who is hitting a whopping .253 with 40 RBI. Nomar Garciaparra is making nearly $10 million and he just barely started playing in July.

Jason Schmidt is getting paid over $15 million this season and he hasn't pitched an inning yet. Brad Penny was the opening day starter; he makes nearly $10 million; he is injured and had a record of 5-9 with a 5.88 ERA before he hit the Disabled List.

The further I look down the payroll chart, the better players I find. Russell Martin, Andre Ethier and James Loney are all hitting near .300 and leading the team with steady statistics in every category, and they are all playing for less than half a million dollars this season. Matt Kemp is the most exciting player on the field. He has scored 47 runs, stolen 22 bases and driven in a team high 51 runs; his salary is $400,000.

If I ran the Dodgers, I would start to question if I was earning my own salary as I rode home in my limo every night to my house in Beverly Hills. If I could just figure out a way to keep the good players who only make half a million per season and get rid of the expensive players who might as well be hurt because they don't produce anyway, then I could give myself a raise with all the money I would be saving. I could even drop ticket prices and increase my attendance numbers.

I suppose I would just have to chalk it all up to bad luck. I mean how was I to know that injury would strike nearly all my high-priced talent? How could I possibly foresee all my star players failing to earn their pay checks?

If I ran the Dodgers, I would long for the good old days when all I had was a fantasy baseball team and I could just drop and pick up players regardless of salary. I guess that is what seperates fantasy from reality: fantasy baseball actually makes a little sense.

Learn more about this author, Jeremy Peters.
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