by andy flewker

Created on: July 16, 2008   Last Updated: March 10, 2009

The weekend was no different than any other day of the week, if you were a member of the catering staff on a cargo ship somewhere at sea and even in port sometimes too. The Deck and Engine crew and officers with the exception normally of watch keeper's, sometimes they would work the morning, and then finish for the day, that meant you could depending on the weather, sunbathe on deck, maybe have a swim and a few beer's, just go to bed, or the most popular was, to have a few beers and get drunk, no different to what most people do on a weekend having worked all week.

This particular trip a crew member Bill and his side kick Jack had taken to making comments regarding my food and staff, I was the ships chief cook and I took offence and an immediate love hate relationship came between us ,but he always seemed to get the better of me, until one fateful Saturday evening.

We had had a bar b que out on deck that evening, all of the crew and officers had attended and everything went well, the evening progressed, this chap said the food was crap, and I laughed because as normal he ate more than anybody else, and I called him a fat bugger, and he said it was all beer,and not the crap that I cook. We both laughed and I burnt him with a sausage on the hand (gently).

Having put all the gear away we all returned to the bar for a beer before bed. The bar was empty except for two people Bill and Jack. They lie head to toe on the big couch sound asleep and nothing was going to wake them either I hoped.''Go and get the icing colours from the kitchen'' I asked the baker. He returned. ''what you going to do (?)' he asked. ''Watch' I replied. The colours were red- green- yellow, and blue. Kneeling right beside them and really trying hard not to laugh, we applied dots of all colours over and around their faces, managed to wash our hands, put the bottles away and return to the bar to watch the best bit.Sitting at the bar now we have put the stereo on and are having a beer, we have got the rest of the catering tem in the bar as well to watch the events unfold.

Bill woke up first, none of us can stop laughing at the sight of these two and after complaining about the noise, looking at Jack he has noticed that his face has coloured dots all over it, and he begins to laugh too. So loud is the laughing now that Jack wakes up and complains about the noise too, and then he says to Bill ''You got coloured spots all over your face mate (!)'' Well the bar just erupted in laughter and tears. The pair of them rushed to the bathroom to look at themselves in the mirror, I can't print what they said, but they took it in good fun and we all had a pint and they never complained about the food again.

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