by Angela S. Young

Created on: July 16, 2008

This is one of those philosophical questions that really has so many answers it really has no answer. The reasons we don't get what we want are myriad, but we will discuss a few of them here.

1) Wanting the wrong things. Sometimes, we want things we can't or shouldn't have: the love of someone who is already taken, things we can't afford or even things we would be better off without. Often, the want is simply that, and we would face disappointment if we actually got what we wanted. Occasionally, we need to just "thank God for unanswered prayers" because He knows what we need better than we do.

2) Not wanting it bad enough. There are times in life when we meet a few setbacks and simply quit trying because it got hard. Often, people get what they want because they won't take no for an answer and not because they have some special "luck". We really cannot know another person's life well enough to judge how they got where they are today. If we want something bad enough, and if it's not something we shouldn't have, we will keep trying until we achieve whatever it is we want. Persistence often works much better than "luck" in helping us get what we want.

3) Not going after it in the right way. Some people will go to any lengths to get what they want, even if they must do something wrong or illegal. They don't care who they hurt in the acquisition of their goal. This often backfires and the person doesn't get what they want after all; they get something else entirely. They may get a stint in jail or lose relationships that were more important than the thing they sought.

4) Not focusing on the right things. The Bible tells us to "delight ourselves in the Lord and he will give us the desires of our heart." Whether you are a Christian or not the principle still holds true for achieving our desires. If we focus on the important things, our desires will often come to us. If we focus on the important things, our desires will come into alignment with what is good for us. These two principles make a world of difference in getting what we want in life.

For example, instead of focusing on getting a boyfriend or girlfriend, focus on being a good person and getting to know others. When we focus on something like "gotta have a boyfriend", we become so focused that we tend to miss all the wonderful things going on in the periphery of that focus. We miss friendships and often the very things we desired because we aren't willing to wait for the right person to come along. As in this example, we can live without while we're waiting for the right timing, person or whatever that will meet this need.

Instead of focusing on getting what we want, we should focus on becoming the best person we can be and all the rest will follow. Either we will attract what we desire or our desires will change. We win either way.

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