by Tracey Cozby

Created on: July 15, 2008

It amazes me. Seriously. I am amazed at the lack of commitment from people in regards to relationships. I'm not talking romantic relationships. I'm talking about friendships. There are long term friendships and there are short term friendships. It's not so much the short term ones that have me boggled. There isn't a lot of time or emotions invested in short term friendships so they don't hurt too much when they end. It is those long term friendships that come to an end that has me reeling.

Yes...that very thing happened to me yesterday in the blink of reading a short email. A friend of 26 years broke the cardinal rule that friends do not EVER do. She knew I was interested in a guy and what do you think she did? You guessed it...went after him like a dog in heat. Is she kidding? This is a woman who knew I was interested in him before I even knew it. This is a woman who said that she would never hurt me by going after a guy I was interested in and there is no way a man would come between us. Well what do you know...she lied!

A little background here. I met this woman when we were 15 years old. We are now 41. Our birthdays are exactly one week apart. We can read each other like a book. If something was bothering her...everyone would see a happy person. I would see that she was upset and call her on her phony facade. She knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me. To have her stoop to a level I never even knew she was capable of has just blown my mind into a million and one little pieces.

I no longer trust nor do I have respect for her. I can't. There is just no way I could or would do to a friend, much less a lifetime friend, what she did to me. I don't even care about the guy anymore. He is just another man who just proved himself as another idiot who has no thoughts above his waistline. What I care about is how little respect she had for me and my feelings. To be told about it in a very short email and then no communication from her since has rocked me to the core. I question...did I ever really know who she is and what type of person she is? At this point...I don't believe I did.

Women may do some awful things to other women to get the man but not to a lifetime friend. A friendship ended. I haven't even cried over the loss. Why is that? Is it because I'm still so angry or is it because I didn't feel as much for her as I thought? That is very difficult to think about and really consider. Was the friendship all a sham? With yesterday's incident...I'm beginning to think it was. On her part...I am beginning to think it was. My friends...that is a thing that will suck the very breath out of ones soul. A friend pointed out to me things I did not see. I was the one maintaining and keeping the friendship alive. The calling, the emailing, the instant messages. All were initiated by me. I can now see how this was easy for her to do. She did not have anything invested in the friendship. No investment. No pain in losing anything. She played a 26 year game with me and what I thought was a genuine friendship.

Death of a friendship. It's heart-wrenching. It's heart-breaking. It is sad to see happen. But...it is a life learning lesson. One I hope I will be able to figure out...

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