by James Gatz

Created on: July 15, 2008

F.r.e.e.d.o.o.m., Inc.

1600 1/2 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington D.C.

July 14, 2008

Dear Board of Directors,

The Employees Need More Work! Less Time at Home! Less Leisure Time!

Fewer Benefits! Reduced Pensions!

I have taken a poll of the employees thoughts, and though the results were ambiguous, and subject to interpretation, I find the results unequivocal with what I choose to credit and want.

You will understand and come to grasp as factuality: Work Will Make You Free!

Indolence will not be tolerated. If any employee is not amenable to work seventy hours a week, without overtime, health care, and pensions, then the workers of our company are shiftless!

Taking a swim, after a long day on the golf course, I realized that this indolence is not just a situation, but an ailment, no a cancer cultivating into the bowels of our company, and I will remedy this cancer. Sitting at the 19th hole, Jesus spoke to me. He told me the prescription. And it is my duty and honor to chip shot it into the hole for Jesus. Today the company...Tomorrow the world!

This corporation will invest 80 Billion dollars to close our factories in the United States. We will build dozens of new factories in the Third World. We will then take our most devoted hardworking employees, oddly enough Caucasian, and move them away from their families to control and become overseers to the new workers of our factories in these foreign countries.

Out sourcing creates American jobs. I do not have the hard facts, but it is something I and Jesus believe. My research team as interpolated, that by implementing this strategy we will save 48 Billion dollars over the next twenty years. (In a remarkable coincidence the Bush administration has conceived a similar plan regarding Iraq.) Do the math! I am saving this corporation 2.4 Billion Dollars a year! This is accomplished by spending a mere 77.6 Billion dollars a year.

Please, forgive my ego, but I have taken our exceptional company name and created an anagram of F.r.e.e.d.o.o.m.: Financing Regimes Ending Economic Doom by Oppressing Oligarchies and Monarchies. In those third world countries, they need me/F.r.e.e.d.o.o.m. to configure strong governments and indoctrinate the people how to work.

We will not have my celebrity tarnished by bestowing our American workers with more leisure time, more presence at home, pensions, and medical insurance. I will not fabricate the same misapprehensions you, as a Board, took in the past. Our new, brown workers will work 100 hours

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