by Al Louis

Created on: July 15, 2008   Last Updated: August 08, 2008

There is so much about child birth and since every delivery can be different, there may be a lot that you don't know and after the blessed event you may find yourself wondering, "Why didn't they tell me that?" With baby number eight making his debut withing a few days, let me share what I know. I am not going to paint a rosy picture but it is not the horror stories old pros like to share with moms-to-be.

Labor can be very different for different women and even for different pregnancies, but it is rarely as fast as in the movies. Sometimes your water breaks and you head off to the hospital without ever timing a contraction. Sometimes you have back labor and, in time, it will be just as excruciatingly painful as the other kind of labor, it feels very different and not at all like the labor you were expecting to begin with. It is just a dull ache that comes and goes at regular intervals for a while. These differences can sometimes make it hard to know if you are really in labor. Call your doctor or midwife or, if you aren't ready to make that call, call a friend and describe your pain. Hospital personnel can let you know if it is time to go in. A friend can give you helpful advice.

If you water breaks while you are standing, it likely won't be the gusher it is on TV and you may not go into labor for a while. The baby's head may act like a cork but if you bend and squat you will have leakage. You need to go to the hospital as soon as possible.

Everyone does not need childbirth classes. Because of the military and the timing of babies number one and two, I never attended a class. The baby will come whether or not you attend. It is helpful, however, to have some basic breathing instructions. When you are in a lot of pain, all you want to do is hold your breath until the contraction is over. This doesn't help. It is good to have someone with you who can remind you to breathe slowly and regularly. (If you took a class, they call that person a coach, but that seems a little impersonal for the one who put the bun in the oven in the first place or anyone else that you are close enough to to share this intimate experience with.) I know it sounds stupid to have someone reminding you to breathe, but it really helps. They can count for you like this, "In, two, three, four and out, two three, four." It really helps. Have them speed up or slow down to suit you but keep breathing slowly in though your nose and out through your mouth.

It doesn't really matter if you go all natural

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