by Megan Steele

Created on: July 15, 2008

I'm not going to lie. There have been many days over the course of the past two and a half years when I've said "this isn't worth it." My husband and I got married in March of 2006, after knowing each other for five months. We weren't so madly in love that we couldn't stand the thought of not being together for the rest of our lives. I was knocked up. We had several discussions about what to do. Abortion was NOT an option. Adoption was, but we wouldn't be staying together. We decided to stay together and get married at some point in the future. Then my stepmom asked, "Do you really want to show your wedding pictures and tell your kid, 'Look, there you are?'" We said no, and a month later, we got married.

Getting knocked up when you hardly know each other is hard enough. We had some serious issues before we walked down the aisle. Both of us had been single for a long time, I had debt, he didn't, I'd lived on my own for several years, he'd been living with his parents until he decided where he wanted to move to. My debt was a real thorn in the side for my husband. He doesn't believe in debt at all. He had saved quite a little nest egg and he put a lot of money toward my debt before we got married, to relieve his future stress about it. Both of us had been out of relationships for so long that we'd forgotten what it was like to take another person into consideration before doing or saying things. I loved living alone and wasn't sure I wanted to live with someone else. Although, that argument wouldn't really fly very well with a baby on the way.

Our wedding was small and relaxed, in a chapel nearby. We had only family and a couple of my friends in attendance. Our pictures show a happy couple. For a few days, we seemed happy. I didn't know a lot about my husband before we got married. He has a temper and likes to yell sometimes. I don't yell very often. He likes to keep everything under control and has a very hard time trusting people. I am an optimist, he's cynical. We are complete opposites in many categories.

That being said, because we are married, I get the joy and privilege of staying home to raise our beautiful, sweet little boy. My husband gets a wife who makes dinner for him every night and keeps the apartment clean. We tell each other every day that we love each other and our son is one of the most hugged and kissed kids on the planet. We have improved my credit and lowered my student loan debt substantially. I've learned to budget and I take great pride in the amount of money I've been able to save for us over the course of the last year and a half. I've never in my adult life had to depend on someone else to take care of me and my husband hasn't been responsible for anyone but himself.

We don't always get along. I have problems with holding things in until I'm ready to burst with anger. My husband doesn't have a filter for his mouth. Hurtful things have been said on both our parts and both of us have threatened to leave. When it gets too bad, we talk. Really talk. Bad things are said, but not in a hurtful way. We make an effort to improve our communication and our actions. We make more of an effort to be appreciative. Marriage is the hardest job I've ever had. Is it worth it for me? Sometimes, no. Most of the time, yes. Without marriage, I wouldn't have my son, and for him, I would do anything.

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