by Joann Rangel

Created on: July 14, 2008   Last Updated: July 20, 2008

I will start with this statement; it does not pay to cheat! We grew up learning it at school as the teacher preaches about the consequences of cheating. Our parents told us never to do it because it makes you look deceitful. Our grandparents would scowl us if they caught us cheating or telling a lie. Those morals are set into stone in our society; so why do it? Like the saying goes, "Curiosity killed the cat".

When society tell us not to do it, as human beings we have the tendency to wonder, well, what if I do it; then get away with it? In long-term marriages, those same thoughts race through your mind, especially if your marriage is failing. Nevertheless, remember, if you do decide to act upon this urge, you will always pay the piper in the end. There are many people involved in cheating. Not only you, the other party, your spouse, and if there are children, they too will feel the wrath you have placed upon the family unity. So is it all worth it, I think not! If you decide to cheat, then make sure every chapter in your marriage is finished. It is like writing your own novel, and the main character is you. In order to get to one chapter you must finish the one prior.

If you have the inclination of cheating question the reason for it, you must be unhappy with your relationship and you want out. Your spouse is not satisfying you enough or you have drifted apart. Well then, do just that and get out of your relationship. Deal with the children and tell them what is going on gradually. You never want to spring this devastating ordeal on them. It is better to involve the children rather then hide the situation. Remember, to the children, their family bond means everything, so if you decide to break that bond, prepare them for the outcome. You have to plan accordingly about what you are going to tell your family. So guide the matter in the right direction, even though it may seem chaotic at that particular time, you must steer the situation for your children and spouse. Give the family some time to comprehend the reason for the break-up. Especially, if your spouse had no inkling that the marriage was in troubled. It is like if you were the doctor getting ready to tell a family that each of them had cancer and it was incurable. They had no suspicion of this matter, but they are entitled to this information, correct?

If you just react on impulse and cheat, you will definitely be condemned for your actions in your children's eyes and your spouse's. In order to smooth over your inconsolable marriage, you have to do the right thing and get out first. Therefore, if you want to see another person, it would not be cheating!

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