by Paul Schingle

Created on: July 14, 2008

I'm going to end up sounding much more right-wing on this issue than I do on most. The short answer to the question is, yes we can stop cyberbullying. What isn't the answer, though, is government intervention. I've written this about other situations outside the internet, but I'll say it again. Parents have to start parenting. Legislation isn't the answer. Parents have to pay attention.

Several years back, when my household was first getting the internet and my son was only thirteen, we set forth some rules for him to abide by. I set controls disallowing him from some web sites. I also monitored what he did on the web sites he was allowed to access. Even with this degree of control, my son managed to find a way to get into trouble. I had received a warning from AOL (my server at the time) stating that someone had used inappropriate language on one of the chat rooms. Well, I knew it wasn't my wife and I knew it wasn't me, so I confronted my son. He told me exactly what happened. In a chat room with other teens, my son had used the "f-word." This sounds innocent enough, but the fact is, that particular chat room had very specific rules and my son had broken the rules. His punishment from me? No internet. I'd laid out very specific guidelines and he chose to ignore them. I told him I wasn't allowing him internet access at all, until I felt I could trust him. He understood and that was that. Eventually, we let him use the internet again. He never got into trouble again. He's an adult now, and he can do what he wants. But, the bottom line is, we set rules and he had to abide by them. Parents don't do that enough anymore.

Yes, the Megan Meier incident was a tragedy. My heart goes out to her family and all in her life affected by the outcome. Yes, I understand that children-particularly teenagers-can be very cruel. I can understand how cyberbullying can be a serious problem. Now, if it's me and I'm in a poker room, or somewhere that's for adults only, and somebody tries to "bully" me, I simply hit the button making that individual "silent" to me. It's easy enough and I don't get all that rattled. Kids and teenagers don't see the world that way. I can see where bullying ends up as a serious problem. And, that's where parenting comes in.

Look, I'm not about blaming the victim. I do believe, however, that if Megan's parents had taken a more active role in their child's online activities, this is a tragedy that could have been avoided. All parents, everywhere have to be more involved in their kids lives. Not just on the internet, but everywhere. Who are their friends? Do you know the friends' parents? What kinds of activities are they involved in at school and after school? Parenting is a full time job and the number one aspect of the job is to keep your kids safe. That's the parents' job-not the government.

Can cyberbullying be controlled? Of course it can, but it takes good parenting to get the job done. We have to remain committed to parenting our children and not rely on legislation to do the job for us.

Learn more about this author, Paul Schingle.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.