by Melissa Charles

Created on: July 14, 2008   Last Updated: February 23, 2012

The idea that an infant can be potty trained at two months, four months is pure fiction. Its not the infant that is being trained, its the parent.

Lets look at this from a purely developmental stand point. Two month old infants are just starting to raise their heads when laying on their belly, differentiating voices and looking to see where sounds are coming from. Fingers are finding mouth. And that infancy, that's not even rolling over yet or being capable of communicating its elimination needs, and becoming toilet trained. No. There's training happening, absolutely, but its not the infant being trained.

One of the things that bothers me about elimination training, as 'diaper free' is often referred to, is the visual of a 2 month old being suspended out in mid air. It would seem to me that that would be a frightening, if not completely terrifying position for such a young infant to be in. As parents, we instinctively cuddle our infants close, giving them the comfort and security and physical support that such a young baby needs. How is being suspended in mid air over a sink or toilet meeting those needs?

One thing that isn't mentioned is glossed over or ignored is about infants being suspended over sinks in public. Perhaps my perception is a little self centred, but I find it completely disgusting that myself or my children would be washing our hands in the same place that was used for a bowel movement or urination. I don't allow my toddlers to wash their hands in the toilet or urinal, and by the same token find the idea of body waste in a sink to be utterly repugnant, not to mention a potential health risk to others.

It seems that more and more parenting issues are about what is best for the parents, not the child. A two month old infant isn't garnering any benefits at all from elimination training. The benefit is completely to the parents. Less money spent on diapers. Honestly, that's about the only benefit I can see. To be rushing an infant to an appropriate place on time for their cues seems to be an incredibly time consuming task, and the cost of laundry that results from accidents would also be an issue. Unless the bragging and shock value of announcing that a three month old is out of diapers is a high value commodity...and in today's super competitive world, that wouldn't be a surprise at all.

A child that has yet to sit on their own cannot be toilet trained. They simply don't have the ability to regulate their bowels and bladders in the way that potty training demands. Just as parents are trained to respond to different cries for tired, hungry, hurt, angry, bored, parents can be trained to cue in on their infants signs of elimination, but this doesn't make the child trained. It makes the parent trained.

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