by Sandy Winn

Created on: July 14, 2008   Last Updated: September 15, 2008

Ideally, everyone who marries would not only accept their spouse as who they were when they married, but also who they have become, and who they are becoming. We are human though and to expect one to sit by and never ask for a change in their spouse's behavior is unrealistic; though some manage to do this happily, others smile through the hardship and are miserable inside.

The advice and recommendations in this article are based on sixteen years of marriage as well as married couples we've personally known. If you love your spouse and want your marriage to stay intact and are having deeper issues, you should consider the advice of a professional marriage counselor.

Household Chores

Perhaps you're a neat freak who at first, blinded by love, had full and good intentions of taking care of cleaning up after your messy partner. You may have even assured them that their not so cleanly ways didn't bother you. However, after a few months or years have gone by you've grown sick of it and now you want your spouse to recognize and change their behavior. If you never lived together before getting married, you may have thought your spouse was clean only to come to the realization that they are not. This proved to be quite a shock to you because when you visited your beloved at their home, it was always nice and tidy. Maybe you covered the area of chores and decided that you would both help maintain your home but now they are not fulfilling their end of the bargain. What to do?

No matter the reason, try to speaking about this issue straight away when you find yourself agitated over their behavior. If you allow anger to build up before tackling the issue straight on, nothing will get solved and things may get worse on their part. Many spouses are more willing to make small changes if they know it will help another person. Instead of barking orders and complaining, begin with, "Honey, I'm feeling overwhelmed with household duties (insert all that you do). I don't expect you to be perfect but if you could please help me out by doing just a few things a day, it would really help me out." If you don't mind doing everything on your own but are simply just tired of picking up after them just say, "I don't mind doing everything I used to do for you but if you could put your socks in the dirty clothes and rinse your dishes off and put them in the dishwasher afterwards, I would really appreciate it."

When couples help one another around the house, be it in or out of doors, it helps build

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