by Arsengal

Created on: July 14, 2008

Enough with traumatising our children and their future classmates it's time to respect your baby and bless him/her with a name. That means, it may not automatically be what sounds good to you or your partner or your parents. And for those of you who don't actually research your baby names you probably don't know what you're setting him/her up for. Whomever heard of a good lawyer named Nebuchadnezzar or a doctor who went by Obadiah? It's different for those horrors that are coming out of Hollywood nowadays it doesn't really matter what an actor is called. From Pilot to Kal-El, from Apple to Mallox it's all good in their world! But to all well-meaning African parents, I sincerely recommend Babynames.com, which is a comprehensive Internet site of names, their meanings, and even their popularity. I'm crossing my fingers for you and hoping against hope that it will help you eliminate those names that will surely help your child turn into a psycho (Jericho, Jezebel, Salome, Pharaoh) and chose those which are more likely to bless and benefit him/her as they morph from angelic child to top professional (Aaron, Zachary, Adele, Rachel...) Please note that there is no in between.' There really is such a thing as a bad name and I don't mean Cain.'

For the Kikuyu, naming your child is a literal no-brainer you simply follow an age-old formula: If grandparents Kamau and Wanjiru give birth to Njeri, Waithera, Njoroge and Mburu, you can be sure that Njeri is named after Kamau's mother, Waithera after Wanjiru's mother, Njoroge after Kamau's father and Mburu after Wanjiru's mother which is why, when your mother-in-law comes to visit you at your home and then commences a strange conversation about her deep desire to see her mother or her father, she's actually asking you to hurry up and get on with giving birth to your second daughter or son! I suppose one's English name, if you are granted one (which I am thankful I was not) is up to the parents in which case, for those Kikuyu parents who are fans of Damaris, Wilhelmina, Priscilla and Jacintha or for that matter Wilson, Humphrey, Albert and Abednego I beg you to go and click on Babynames.com immediately and save your child.

My best friend Ida tells me that with the Luya, it's all about the baby. If s/he doesn't like his/her name, s/he will remain restless, and may even develop a teary eye, until you've done something about it. The trick is, she tells me, to stand over the baby and whisper suggestion after suggestion until the royal acceptance, whereupon calm is restored. Not a bad way to take control of your life from the very beginning, hey?

It would be hard for any Luo children to object to their traditional names as they are so beautiful and meaningful but perhaps this community in particular needs the help that the magic of the Internet can provide and no, I didn't mean Internet as in a particular person.
So, buy a book, Google a baby names site, do whatever! But please, parents, do do your research and save your child a lifetime of heartache.

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