by Angus Macdonald

Created on: July 14, 2008

Hello. My name is Graham, you may have seen me in town shopping or walked past me in the street. I'm the guy with the goofy red hair and green sports jacket. Perhaps you didn't remember me, but next time you see me be sure to say hello. You see, I created this entire universe, so I suppose you could call me God. Although Graham would be fine if you decide to say hello in the street.

Anyway, what i wanted to tell you all is how I created the universe. Not to brag about it or anything, but just to set the record straight. And to do that, I'm going to have to start at the beginning. I come from a short line of universe builders, my dad was one, and his dad was one, his dad too, and his dad was a florist who always wanted to be a universe builder but unfortunately he came from a long line of florists. It must have been hard for him, to break free like that. This I know because I never wanted to be a universe builder, I wanted to be an artist but my father wouldn't let me. He said that a long line of florists followed by a short line of universe builders followed by a single artist would be too much of an introduction. So I ended up going to universe-city to learn the trade. My trouble with universe building had always been that I was terrible at maths, which is an essential skill for figuring out how to create spacial dimensions and time let me tell you. Everyone else in my class was creating graceful universes out of light, with vast sweeping waves of colors and beautiful, majestic structures within them. Everything I created tended to come out as a roundish ball of brownish sludge. My father was certainly not pleased with my progress - something which he monitored closely. Of course, with him being my lecturer that was always going to be difficult to escape.

When it came to the day of the final exam, I knew that I had one last chance to destroy all hope my father had that I might be able to follow in his footsteps. The task set was to use a single unit of pure energy (energy which is completely pliable and will operate on every dimensional level) to create a single universe which unfolds in time. The way in which we do this is by creating a set of mathematical rules for the energy to follow, then when the rules are applied to the energy it creates it's own dimensional space and does it's thing. Most universes are pretty small, and every inch of them is pre-planned. The very best are like exquisite ice sculptures made out of light which gracefully dances in patterns

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