by Dermot Mccabe

Created on: July 13, 2008

"I Couldn't Give a Toss Club" was founded on 4th July and is already the biggest club in the world.

Seamus Pius McFadden a third generation Bray man announced that he had set up a new club on Wednesday morning 4th July 2008 at exactly 10:35 am when his sleep was disturbed by the sound of a council roadsweeper outside his window. The fully-fledged concept and name for the new club came to him in a dream. It is called "I Couldn't Give A Toss Club." The only requirement for membership of the club is that members couldn't give a toss. This of course, as Seamus Pius explained, meant the club was an instant success and on the moment of conception had a universal membership of 6 Billion because it would be fair to surmise that no one in the world at that moment gave a toss about "I Couldn't Give a toss Club." In fact the only way to be a full one hundred per cent member is to not even know about the club.

Seamus himself is in a difficult situation with regard to his own membership because simply by setting it up he has contravened the fundamental principle of having no possible interest whatsoever in it. This is a very difficult situation for Seamus. He thought about consulting other members of the club to discuss the anomalous situation but, of course, a true member of the club couldn't possibly show any interest in discussing these matters. Seamus however is a stickler for club protocol and he has decided to refer this particular problem to a future AGM of the club when he has figured out how to hold such an event. In the meantime he has exempted himself from the fundamental principles of the club in order to develop the concept fully.

Later, on the morning of the 4th, while lashing into a feed of rashers, sausages, black and white pudding and a couple of fried eggs and listening to the minister for finance on the Pat Kenny Radio Show, Seamus suddenly realised that he had the solution to the problem of discussing matters concerning the club without the members of that discussion group being automatically disqualified for showing interest. He wishes to thank the Government and its ministers for demonstrating that it is possible to discuss any topic whatsoever and show a keen interest in that topic without actually giving a toss. He is writing to a number of eminent politicians to invite them onto an advisory committee to the "I Couldn't Give A Toss Club." When asked if he thought they would respond he said that he was fully confident of their support when they discovered

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