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No good can come from this.

7. Beaches. Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey were ok I guess, although I liked the little kid versions of them better. Lots of crying in this one; your girl will be a wreck for days afterward.

8. Ghost. If your girlfriend suggests getting this on DVD, fake an appendicitis, join the French Foreign Legion, and if necessary, offer to watch Beaches instead. Whatever you do, avoid this film; if you're unlucky enough to have seen it, you understand what I mean.

9. When Harry Met Sally. This film is right on the edge of not being a chick flick, if only because Billy Crystal is so damn funny. It also features a great performance by the late Bruno Kirby; most men know him best as a young Clemenza in The Godfather, Part II.

10. Blade Runner. This is a ringer that you may be able to sneak in as a chick flick on an unsuspecting young lady. After all, it has a love story (between a cop and an female android, but a love story nonetheless). Emphasize the fact that it also has both a young Harrison Ford and a young Rutger Hauer.

If you're forced to watch one of the films on this list (except for numbers 4 and 10, of course) and want to ensure the proper reaction, put a thumbtack in your shoe and press down on it every time your girlfriend starts to cry. At the very least it will provoke a pained expression, which is better than her looking over to see that you've fallen asleep. Good luck and happy viewing.

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