by Matt Lebeau

Created on: July 13, 2008

Thumbing Atman: Chris McCandless's Desperate Search for the True Self

Jon Krakauer's portrayal of the life of Chris McCandless creates a vision of a young man who became completely lost and eventually met his death on an expedition of self-discovery. In Herman Hesse's short novel, Siddhartha, the fictional title character, is also a reflection of the noble idealism and wild narcissism that marked McCandless's charter. It seems to be merely dumb luck that, unlike McCandless, Siddhartha did not meet his death on his own search for the true Self. Siddhartha seems no less stubborn, foolish, or ill-prepared than McCandless was when he set out on his "great Alaskan adventure," and yet Siddhartha was fortunate enough to escape with his life. Regardless of survival, both men misguidedly believed that the abandonment of others was necessary in order to find true enlightenment.

Chris McCandless and Siddhartha both set off on personal quests to find the Self, or Atman, as it is called in many Indian religious traditions. The Atman is the innermost reality of a person or the spiritual essence of life. Throughout history, religions and philosophers have had varying interpretations, but most seem to agree that comprehension of the true Self provides infinite wisdom and freedom within oneself.

Both Siddhartha and McCandless judged the reward of finding the Self as the most important knowledge a man can ever hope to learn. For example, Siddhartha searched for Atman in every aspect of his life often derailing himself in the process. As Hesse writes, "He believed that everything else, every other worldly pursuit that people sought after in life was - a detour, error" (Hesse p.5). Chris McCandless shard this harsh judgment and unbending analysis of his family, friends, and all those around him that tried to show him love. In an effort to rid himself of all these "detours" he abandoned everything but a few possessions and disconnected from his past life. He though he could find his true Self by hitchhiking across the United States to Alaska. He tried thumbing his way to Atman.

"When someone is seeking," said Siddhartha, "it happens quite easily that he only sees the thing that he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything, unable to absorb anything, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed with his goal (Hesse p.113).

Hesse's direct language confirms the consuming nature of Siddhartha's search for Atman. Siddhartha's contempt for the tired rituals and mundane lives of the

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