by MaryO

Created on: July 12, 2008

Paul, in one of his last letters written from the dungeon prison in Rome, expressed his sadness and hurt at having been abandoned by those in Asia. A man dying in a cold prison who had worked tirelessly to encourage and build the Church. His work teaching and edifying believers, who in his time of need, in his time of lonliness and death abandoned him.
The church, one must remember, is made of people, followers of Christ but still very human. We have witnessed horrific hurts, injustice, scandals, and horribly destructive leadership in the church, (Jim Jones for one example).

There is no guarantee in the church itself as being a safe haven. It is intended to be a fellowship of believers, a place of support, encouragment, healing, edification, and sanctification in Christ.

When we decide to participate in this fellowship it is very important that we do so with the right motives. That we study the word and understand when what we hear is God's truth from His Word, or a version of it that serves as less than holy purpose. Like anything in life we need discernment, discretion, wisdom and prayer, and time in the word to hear from God regarding a church, it's leadership, teachings, practices and so on.

Often wounded or lonely people search out church trusting it is a healing and safe place of fellowship, as it should be. God tells us above all else to guard our hearts and minds. To seek wisdom and understanding and to value those more precious than gold. When we blindly or emotionally enter in to anything we are prone to hurt or manipulation due to our vulnerability.

In responding to being hurt or disappointed by the church I believe it is important to understand our own expectations. To assess those and understand from a personal perspective why we feel hurt. Were our expectaions not met? Our confidences betrayed? our needs unanswered? Were we victims of gossip, judgement or criticism? Did we encounter spiritual abuse? Misguided leadership, or abuse of power? These are all the conditions of sin that exist even in what we hope to be the holiest and safest of places.

Communicating your expectations or disappointments with church leadership may be necessary if one feels safe in doing so. Addressing a concern or hurt should be welcomed for discussion and thoughtfully considered by the church leader, pastor, minister, etc. A church leader that is not open being approached by a worshipper who has been hurt or who has questions is a good sign that there is a larger underlying

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