by Liann Raven

Created on: July 12, 2008   Last Updated: August 30, 2008

There isn't such a thing as a perfect mother so striving for that would be ridiculous. A stay at home mother might give children a sense of stability and safety that they might not feel if their mother was working outside the home. However, in today's world nothing is a certainty.

So can a working woman be a good mother? No. She could actually be a great mother. It's all about prioritizing. Family should always come first. If a working woman can do her job outside the home and still be there for her children when they need her, then that is the sign of the ultimate multi-tasker. Ideally, a mother should try to stay home with her child for at least the first year. Then she can establish a strong bond with her child and witness all the developments that occur in that first year of life. Going back to work part time would be better than full time but that isn't always possible.

More important than whether the mother stays home full time or works outside the home, is how she establishes her authority. If the child is placed in daycare while the mother works then she needs to decide how she's going to discipline a child who might see her less than the daycare provider. Some mothers may avoid discipline completely, not wanting to ruin their few hours with their child by creating potential conflict. Such a decision will prove detrimental later when that mother realizes she has no control over her child and that she has not established proper limits.

Alternately, a stay-at-home mother without the proper emotional support from her significant other might be a worse mother than one who works outside the home for most of the day. With both parents working outside the home there is a better chance that they will appreciate the time they do have with their child. If the stay-at-home mother's mate works long hours, and/or is too busy when home to spend time with the child, then that mother essentially becomes a single parent. She may lose her grasp on her identity outside of being a mother while her mate is still free to have social interaction with co-workers. She may also become the sole disciplinarian of the child. That mother may then come to resent the fact that the child favors her partner because time spent with them is more fun for the child. Her frustration and anger may eventually play out against the child and that would be unfair for everyone involved.

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