by Ted Sherman

Created on: July 12, 2008

In "The Love Guru", Mike Myers sheds his Austin Powers white suit, dons a prophet's white robe and obviously fake beard. Isn't it a bit late to try to parody the Maharishi? I believe the last time that happened was in a 1970s Peter Sellers movie. What moviegoer remembers that bearded transcendental meditation guru of the 1960s, who conned the Beatles and a bunch of other Hollywood suckers into pouring millions of bucks into his robes? Wasn't it John Lennon who ascended a mountain in Tibet or Nepal to pray with the Maharishi and came down with Yoko Ono?

In the film, Guru Pitka, as with the original Beatles' holy baloney, has millions of mindless admirers throughout the world, including the required Hollywood sycophants who make unnecessary cameo appearances in the story. You know the film will be a tiresome bore when the holy man blesses his flock with the mysterious phrase, ''Mariska Hargitay!'' Hey, Mike, it ain't funny. Mariska is an excellent real-life actress who catches bad guys in exciting episodes of TV's "Law and Order". She'd spot you as a phony from a mile away and haul your sorry butt off to jail.

Mike Myers is a very talented sketch comedian, and emerged from his experiences with "Saturday Night Live" as a genuine movie star prospect, as did Eddie Murphy, Steve Martin, Chevy Chase and Will Ferrell. His contrived posturing, preening and annoying accent in "Austin Powers: The Spy That Shagged Me", seemed to fulfill his promise. At least it had a fairly good supply of laughs in its own stilted way.

Having exhausted that franchise, Myers. now a lofty writer-producer, portrays the loathsome Guru Pitka. He assumes another annoying accent, exaggerated posturing and sets about giving incomprehensible advice to pro sports stars. There are the required scatalogical jokes and sophomoric crudity situations, from top of toilet to bottom of crotch, which ring about as true as a soiled paper church bell. A dwarf shows up, seemingly left over from an Austin Powers movie, and adds nothing to the already strained attempts at humor.

The only almost good thing about the film is when the pitiful Pitka tries to get close to the owner of one of the sports teams, the beautiful Jessica Alba. Why'd she give Mike Myers a tumble, either as his own nervous, nerdy self or while doing his hairy Marahishi schtick, strains the imagination. On the other hand, as Austin Powers, Myers got to snoggle with the fantastic Liz Hurley, so nothing in Hollywood is impossible. Except in this case, an enjoyable movie.

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