by Janice Day Sirman

Created on: July 11, 2008

How do you respond to being hurt by the church? What is to be our attitude when others cause us pain? Several years ago, our family went through a very difficult time. Due to personal problems, we were forced to leave the church we attended for over five years. The Pastor refused to try to help us, butr rather turned his back on our entire family, even though we weren't all involved in wrong doing. People were shocked, angry and for the most part ignored us as soon as any one thought they knew what was going on. (And most of them didn't!) A close personal friend and counselor told me at that time that "Christians are the only ones who shoot their wounded". I remember being shocked that he would say this , but in thinking it over, I believe that although this saying is cryptic and perhaps a bit caustic, I believe it is also extremely honest and true. There are many of us waling around who have been hurt by the Church.How then should we treat those who in essence are part of our families when they devastate us just when we need them most?

First, we must remember that other Christians are in reality just like us, they are human beings who do not always do the right thing. They make opinions and form attitudes towards others much the same way we do. We must remember that thjey are not always willing to forgive and do the right thing. While it is true that the Church should be ahospital for the sick, it is also true that it very seldom happens that way in real life.

Second,we need to remember that Christianity teaches forgiveness, and that includes our responsibility to forgive those who have hurt us. This is difficult, and I twenty years later still struggle with the feelings of anger over an issue that was in essence resolved a long time ago. I still do not trust Pastors, and church leaders totally and probably never will. But, daily, or at least when the issue comes up in my mind,I make an effort to forgive those who hurt our family.

Third, we must remember, that the church memembers do not always reflect (Althought they should) the attitude of loving and forgiveness that Christ would toward each other. We need to always go back to the source of our help and comfort, Jesus. If you have been hurt by other Christians, don't give up on fellowshipping with other Christians, find a body of believers who practice what Jesus preaches, love, concern, and forgiveness.

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