by Stephen D. Wilson

Created on: July 11, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

This is the hardest article I have ever written. All of my other articles have been observations, and my opinions of what I believe should be corrected. Now, I am faced with the one thing that everyone will eventually have to face, and never wants to. The loss of someone you love. In my case, it's my mother. She's in her mid 60's and has been in a coma for just over 3 months now. She is on a ventilator and has I.V. fluids that keep her blood pressure up and heart pumping. She could "live" like this for months, maybe even years to come. The realization that she will never recover, that she is tired and wants it to end is more apparent now than ever before. My duty to her, to her memory, is to try to convince her husband that it is time. Time to let her go home, be with her parents and others that have passed.

This man loves my mother so very much, more than I could have hoped. Her life, until he became a part of it, was filled with men that cared for her only because she drank with them and gave them safe places to live. They didn't love her, just what she could or would do for them. I wish that he had met my mom 30 years ago. Because of him, because he asked, not told, not ordered, she gave up drinking and smoking. The two things I knew she would never stop. But for him, her complete love and trust in her man, she did. She realized that a life of sobriety isn't bad or boring. She became a better wife, partner and love to him and a much better mother to me and grandmother to my two children. I am going to miss that so very much.

I'm going to miss the phone calls giving me the advice I didn't know I needed, but was happy to receive. The conversations on how her life is so much greater than she could have hoped now. I will miss her hope, most of all.

My children last saw their grandmother 6 years ago, before her body started its slow collapse. When she and her husband returned to their home in Florida, after visiting my family in Iowa, Mom went to the ER at the local hospital, and never left. A tumor was discovered behind her right eye on the optic nerve. It simply had to be removed, there was no other option. When they removed it, she had the first of many strokes and lost her sight. So here was a vibrant happy lady now completely disabled by something that was completely unforeseen. The stroke cost her the ability to initiate conversation and caused dementia episodes that were severe at best. She no longer had any concept of time or where she was. There were many

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>