by Nita Tyson

Created on: July 11, 2008

When you ask if it is easier to stay or go..you are really asking is it harder to leave, or stay.

I left, and believe me, it would have been far easier to stay. I look back on what happened to me after I left, and it would have been easier to stay. The outcome might not have been very pleasant, but it would have been easier.

So you leave. Whether you're male or female doesn't matter if you're a victim of family violence, you're being abused. So, you leave. You gather your kids, try to scrounge up all the important papers of your life driver's license, birth certificates, immunization records, social security cards and you leave. Twenty minutes later, your "new" ex calls the home you shared. SNAP, you're not there and the violent one goes crazy.

Surprise. Now the police are looking for you. Guess what? You don't have custody papers for those kids, and their other parent has equal rights to them at this point, and if you don't allow him or her to see them, you may be going to jail. You're smart, though. You know if you take the kids back, you'll never see them again without years of court battles. So, for now, you thank the nice officer and promise to return the kids, as soon as they go to McDonald's for a burger.

Instead, you take them to your mom's/sister's/cousin's/brother's house. Surprise again. Now THEY are getting threatening calls. The police are knocking on the door, telling them that if they have your kids and don't return them to the parent who wants them and has rights, THEY may go to jail. You stay up all night, worried; your brother sits up all night with his gun.

Even so, when you go to the car to go to court to get a restraining order and temporary custody, all the tires are flat. Clearly, they've been sliced. Well, surprise, surpriseof course we have NO CLUE who did that, now do we?

Your brother takes you to the courthouse, where you will file for a restraining order. SURPRISE. You produce your ID to get the paper notarized the clerk says "hold on a sec" and the officer steps up behind you. "Come right this way". You look frantically at your brother and he gets out his cell phone, ready for whatever is about to happen. Yup, you've been served. Your new ex got here first gee, that delay with the tires worked and there's a restraining order against you. The officer wants to know where the kids are: your ex has been given temporary custody and they're going to dispatch someone to go with you and get the kids for your ex. Not to worry: you'll get a full

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>