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life by Michael Cole, a young man who had it all, yet who was, at that time, himself ready to self-destruct. What followed were years of anger, confusion, and much drinking and senseless indulgence. How is it that he now owns a spacious hilltop home? Speaks often and liberally of spirituality and Christ's meaning in his life?

The accident. He found God amidst his car accident. "It was on a slick spot on Laurel Canyon Freeway; we [he and Paula] hit the mountain. I went through the windshield twice." That reminded him of the moments directly after, rushing to the hospital. "People were in and out of my room."

He eyed his fingers, once again splayed. "After everyone left one night, I checked the mirror and knew it might be over." He looked up with a slow grin. "Then I did this," he showed how he covered the eye with one hand. "Thought maybe it'd be an interesting image." He probably wasn't really as philosophical as he tried to act about losing an eye and his career. After the eye was, thankfully, saved, after MOD SQUAD, Michael floundered, guesting on episodic TV and doing plays across the country. He related one experience.

"We were in a small town. The weather was bad, we didn't know if we'd have an audience. But three old ladies were there, one celebrating her 80th birthday." He ran a forefinger up the side of his nose, then readjusted his glasses. "At intermission, I had a stagehand get a dozen red roses. After the play, we had a party." He stopped talking and breathed deep. His next words were thick. "We both cried. It's still a special memory."

How could a man who cries at an old lady's, a stranger's, birthday party, become hard-drinking and belligerent? "I was afraid." He shook his head. "I remember waking in the middle of one night. Something real gripped me. Paula held me and it went away." Love notwithstanding, Paula could only handle so much amidst such powerful emotions, and she eventually left him.

"She didn't do anything wrong," he was quick to assure, "it was me. She just couldn't take anymore."

Then came a long period where he did nothing. "Absolutely nothing. People started dying around me . . . my manager, my mother. Other people were worried, told me to go back to work, but it wasn't time. I knew when it would be time."

Michael reads avidly, quotes Dylan Thomas, the Bible, and other writings that have affected him. He quit school in the 10th grade, and though he eventually returned and graduated high school, he never finished college. Still, he can

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