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Three years ago, I was starting a new job in an extremely stressful time of my life. It was not a great job, just packing doughnuts. Sounds easy enough! I started to have some very scary symptoms. I would get a horrible pain in my chest, I couldn't breath, I would vomit, and I thought I was truly having a heart attack! On two different occasions I ended up in the emergency room, they ran all the normal heart tests, but they were all negative. They suggested I follow up with a cardiologist, which I did. But all through this time, I was experiencing horrifying moments of shear terror! I truly thought I would die during these moments. I started to sink into a deep dark hole. I was afraid to leave my house, I was afraid to drive, I was afraid to be alone with my children. I was afraid of everything! After determining there was no heart problems, my family doctor diagnosed me with anxiety. She gave me a prescription for Klonopin. As soon as I would start to feel the "panic", I would take one, but within 15 minutes I was out! The anxiety symptoms would go away but the actual anxiety was still there. I finally went back to her and she recommended trying counseling. I didn't want to do it, mainly because of the stereotypes. But I stepped back and looked at my husband and my children and seen what my illness was doing to our family as a whole, and I decided I had to do what ever I could to fix this! On my first visit with the psychologist, he explained to me that my problem with anxiety was like cleaning my house. You are cleaning and you pick up something you don't really know what to do with, so you shove it in your closet to get it out of the way. Next week you do the same thing, and on and on and on! After years of cleaning your house and shoving things in the closet, you just can't possibly fit one more thing in there! You make an attempt, and what happens?! Everything comes tumbling down, and years worth of "stuff" come spilling out all over your floor! So starts the process of "cleaning out my closet!" I wanted to write about my "cleaning" experiences so that others out there who might be heading for the same problems, can recognize, and treat their symptoms before it gets to that drastic state. Through my articles in the future, I will share the items that I pull out of my closet, and maybe by doing so, I might not only help someone, but help myself work through difficult things too!

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