by Donald Hancock

Created on: July 10, 2008   Last Updated: March 09, 2011

A DECISION TO BE MADE

Cleveland Scott, alias Art Scott, has a problem. He has to decide who he really is. Of course he knows his name, his family background, that he is a successful architect. He knows that he has a daughter, Sonya, and a wife, Jan, or perhaps a soon-to-be former wife. You might wonder why Cleveland Scott, alias Art Scott would have a problem. Cleveland's wife, who dearly loves him and is the mother of his child, is in the process, perhaps or perhaps not, of getting a divorce. And his problem is that the decision is completely up to him - or is it? If he could only choose the easy way he would say in a moment, "Jan, don't go. Stay and be my wife. Stay and be Sonya's mother and let me be her father. Stay and let's avoid the pain of making a break." And yet they both know that for Jan to stay might cause even greater pain for her and Sonya and Cleve.

"What is that all about?" I hear your question and I will let Cleve tell you in his own words as he contemplates what course of action he must take. "As has already been stated, my problem is to find out who I really am. Am I Cleve - Cleveland Scott - the husband, father, successful architect? Or am I Art Scott the mysterious, good looking guy dressed in black who shows up at a particular gay bar every Tuesday night without fail.

"How can you be a good husband and father and have one whole day in every week when you cease to exist. And how can you be a gay lover who exists only 24 hours a week? It can not be done. I thought that I could pull it off and have the best of two worlds. And it did work for a while until the excuses ran out. To Jan and Sonya I was working all night on a rush job at the office or I was out of town on a consultation or I was simply helping another architect on his rush job. What made it difficult was that it always had to be on Tuesday. It had to be on Tuesday because that was the day when my lover - my gay lover - was free to be with me.

"I fully realize that the whole scenario sounds absolutely crazy and it is. And I sound like a terrible person and I probably am. But I am trying to do the right thing - I really am. I would never have chosen such a way of life. And the crux of the matter is that it really is not a way of life. It is TWO ways of life and I must choose between them.

"It all began when I was in college. I had always had gay feelings all through my childhood but I didn't realize they were different from what other boys felt. I dated girls in high school and

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>