by Nancy Horton

Created on: July 10, 2008   Last Updated: March 08, 2009

It can be quite difficult for those who have been faced with preparing for a loved one's eventual death; such as a type of cancer, alzheimers, etc. And especially knowing that your hands are tide when it comes to a cure or even to just ease their pain, makes it even harder to remain strong, positive, and even to be available as support for others.

In the begining of this devastating news, one can have multiple feeling and emotions (sadness, anger, etc.) rush in at once, and even shock as well as denial can be an issue in the begining.

- Shock is the body's way of naturally keeping itself from being over loaded all at once. Shock usually can last from a couple hours to a couple days in the begining. A person can appear quite calm, strong, or even not caring; however, it could be shock that has this individual acting differently in the begining than you have expected them to. Shock will automatically subside on it's own as the person is better capable of dealing with the situation.

- Denial is normal for a person to experience as well, and especially regarding fatal news such as this. Denial can last from a couple hours to several months. If this has lasted for more than a couple weeks however, it is advised that the individual seek professional help in order for this person to begin to learn how to accept the situation and begin coping.

In a nut shell, life has become quite challenging due to the knowledge of your loved one's illness, any doctor visits, treatments, finacial situations, or what have you that need to be taken care of in order for your loved one to be most comfortable in their last days; not to mention the everyday stress of continued responsibilities and concerns (career, bills, children, etc.)that continue to be something that you must deal with. And each day can become tiring, stressful, and even depressing.

Even though there may be many things that have you running in circles physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually....one must find some time, even just ten minutes a day to reflect on themselves. In order to keep moving forward in a positive direction, we need to take care of ourselves regardless of what we are going through. Some of us need quiet meditation, some rely on prayer, some need time for a hot bath, time to join a support group to meet others who are going through similar experiences, an extra hour of sleep, a good breakfast, or perhaps even just a walk in the park. There are many things that a person can do to help themselves

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