by kennethfsk

Created on: July 09, 2008

We have all heard the words "just say no to drugs," and for the most part these are words to live by. There is another side of the equations no one wants to deal with thought, and that is people like me. I too am a drug addict, or what doctors term as drug dependent. That simple means that I am dependent on a drug to survive, or allow me to function as an able body person. The drug I speak of is morphine, or so the label on my prescription bottle calls it Avenza. Avenza is time released morphine to stop the pain that would normally have me on the ground crying like a baby.

I suffer from chronic pain, and the only course of action I am able to seek is pain management. My problem cannot be corrected through surgery, therapy, or any other medical means. I have to take morphine to continue to work, go to school, or have a somewhat normal life. Even though my doctor says I am drug dependent I still feel like a drug addict, and not because I see myself that way, but instead of the way everyone else sees me. To look at me you would never know there was anything wrong (one reason why they call it the silent disease) I can do many things that everyone else can do. I do have some heavy restriction thought like picking up anything that weights more than 5lbs, or running, or even moving real fast. I can't even sit for a long period of time I have to mix it up a bit. These things can go unnoticed in an everyday life situation. Therefore, from everyone else's perspective I am normal.

What most people don't see is behind the scenes when I am home. A typical day for me is getting up around 6 am. I leave for school about 8:15, and start class at 8:30 until 10:30. I then go straight to work, and may stay there until 8:30 or 9 pm. I will get home around 9 or 9:30, and just drop dead. This scheduled would be tough for someone in good health never mind have pain most of the day as well. There are days when I get home, and feel like I had been hit by a train.

Because of my situation, and all the publicity about drug abuse doctors are under scrutiny by the government to control pain medication prescriptions. The way this affects me, and nearly 50 million other people in this country is any time we see a doctor we in turn are scrutinized. First as drug seeking people then as patients, when this happened to me 6 years ago it was a complete and utter shock. I just couldn't believe what was going on. I didn't ask for this problem, I only ask that it be treated, and that I be treated

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